Do You Know Your Values?

Why You Should Know Your Personal Values

Values, personal values, and core values all refer to the same thing. They are desirable qualities, standards, or principles. Values are a person's driving force and influence their actions and reactions.

Saying, "He's a courageous man" or "She's a generous woman" reflects a person's deepest priorities in life. A brave man speaks out, even when it's dangerous to do so. A generous woman selflessly gives money or her time to help others.

Besides bravery and generosity, other common values are acceptance, beauty, commitment, excellence, family, fun, harmony, health, leadership, love, prestige, respect, service, spirituality, and wealth.

Everyone has personal values, even if they don't realize it.

Where Your Values Come From

You inherit some of your values. You learn some values from your parents, teachers, and other influential people in your life. You also take on values from reading and watching TV and from school-of-hard-knocks experience.

Your values also reflect the values of the place where you live - your town or city, region, and country. And they reflect your generation, i.e., the group of people born around the same year as you.

Values last a lifetime. While they may undergo some change through the years, they're fairly stable.

Benefits of Knowing Your Values

Why is it important to know what your values are? Simple. So you can make better choices.

People who don't know their values tend to wander around, bouncing from one thing to another, trying to find themselves. They're like puppets, pulled along without any clear direction.

Knowing your values helps you:

• Follow a clear set of rules and guidelines for your actions. You’re less likely to take the easy way out or chase after short-term gains at the expense of your long-term goals.


• Make good decisions. You quickly know what are good choices for you and what are not.


• Find compatible people, places, and things that support your way of living.


• Live with integrity. Integrity here doesn't mean honesty or honor. Integrity means wholeness or completeness - being a whole person. Nothing left out. Being true to yourself

Learning to identify and live from your values is a key personal development strategy.

It’s also one of the best ways of managing stress. The more you live true to your values, the more fulfilled and peaceful you are.


During our first Laughter and Silence Retreat in Melbourne, Australia one of the topics we contemplated upon was values. The remarkable thing which came up was that most people were not aware of their value system. They lived through life by default and not by design as there was a lack of clarity about what is really important and what our values are.

Why We Need Values?

If you want to accomplish something great in life, it does not depend on the physical energy of hard work alone; in fact, it depends upon the psychological energy of the mind you put behind your actions. The intensity of this energy manifests as determination, interest, commitment, passion, drive, motivation or enthusiasm.

When we examine the lives of famous people who have achieved something great, we find they all had some values that guided them to the top of the world. Everyone has an intrinsic value system, but most of the time we are not aware of them. Our lives are run by values which determine the difference between success and failure.

What Is A Value?

A value is a belief system; a guiding principle or the philosophy which determines our decision, action and behavior to maximize our potential. It helps to guide our lives to take certain actions to produce desirable results. These guiding principles energize us and show others what is important to us. They not only make us successful but also help us to live a fulfilled and happy life. Some of the examples of values are – courage, honesty, truthfulness, generosity, hard work, freedom, discipline, punctuality, simplicity, non-violence, concern for others, equality etc.

Our values are like a compass which shows us the right direction to reach the destination. Running your life without values is like a ship without a compass. You wouldn’t know where you’re going.

Values And Relationship

There is a downside to having values. It can cause problems in relationship with others if we are not aware of their values or if we do not communicate our values to them. In fact, the most common cause of bad relationships is because we violate each other's values. It can cause conflict in your personal life business life or social life. Therefore, it is not only important to know your values; but equally important to communicate your values to others with whom you interact and work with. Knowing each other's values can lead to harmonious relationships.

If you are unaware of your values, you need to identify and cultivate them. We can also develop new values and make some strategies to implement them in our lives. That will open the doors to good health, income and all forms of material and psychological benefits.

Are You Forcing Your Values On Others?

There are certain situations where you can force others to follow your values: For example, parents want to create some family values and in order to teach their children, they can ask them to follow a family value system. But, when children grow up, they develop their own values and may modify the existing ones to suit them. Then, even parents can't force the values on their children.

When working in a company, the boss can force their employees to follow a value system laid down as corporate values. As salaried employees they are obligated to follow certain values and rules.

Apart from these situations, if you're forcing your values on other people, it will cause conflict and bad relationship. Unfortunately, there are many people who have the habit of forcing their own values on their partners, relations, relatives and friends which always leads to unpleasantness. Be mindful of not forcing your values and similarly if you find someone forcing their values on you, make a choice and follow what you feel is right.

From Where Do We Learn These Values

We learn these values either from a family culture or from experience of life. We can also learn from others with whom we work. Some values remain the same throughout life, while others change according to the requirement from time to time. For example, making money can be a value up to a certain age but it becomes meaningless when you have plenty of it. On the other hand honesty and truthfulness can be a lifelong value.

False Values


Values can be both negative and positive. Even terrorists have some values but they are not constructive. It invariably leads to violence and death. They are inclined to fulfill their own selfish agenda rather than helping other people. These are false values. They can be based on acquiring wealth, power, position and success at the cost of others.

When you do something to prove yourself and feed your ego to compete with others - these are known as false values. They are not really needed for your survival but are only required to prove that you are better than others. They are not driven by your basic needs; instead they emerge because of the greed of your mind.

Categories of values

1. Personal values
2. Family values
3. Business values
4. Social values
5. Spiritual values

According to our goals we need to develop or cultivate new values that can help us accomplish our goals.

Knowing Your Values Through Silence

We’ve always heard ‘Silence is Golden’, but for the first time during our Laughter and Silence Retreat we struck a goldmine. We learnt so much in silence which is not possible when the mind is filled with countless thoughts every day. We had a new understanding about success, failure, fulfillment and happiness through silence.

List Of Certain Values

Please note that many values can overlap in different areas of life. For example truthfulness and honesty can be a personal value, a business value, family value or even a spiritual value.

Personal Values

Good health
Discipline
Punctuality
Integrity
Promptness
Commitment
Simplicity
Pleasure
Beauty and looking good
Perfection
Adventure
Courage
Honesty
Cleanliness and orderliness
Fun and joy
Patience
Freedom
Openness
Appreciation
Gifts
Touch

Family Values

Family values apply to your partner, parents, grandparents, siblings and other relatives. Also to very special friends who are like an extended family. These are:

Peace and harmony
Trust
Responsibility
Security
Quality time
Support and care

Business Values

Success and the accomplishment
Honesty and loyalty
Quality work
Customer care
Creativity
Teamwork
Making money
Integrity
Perfection
Loyalty
Efficiency
Effectiveness
Competence


Social Values And Spiritual Values

Concern for others
Justice
Flexibility
Hospitality
Gentleness
Righteousness
Faith.
Oneness
Patience and tolerance
Generosity
Gratitude
Compassion
Community
Friendship
Equality
Honesty and truthfulness
Unconditional love
Peace and harmony
Contentment

“So you think that money is the root of all evil? Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?” – Ayn Rand

We all have fears about money. We don’t make enough of it, we spend it too rapidly, and if we ever do get enough of it, we worry that one day it will dry up and the lifestyle that we are living will be gone.

But, this fear of money is actually not a fear about money at all. It’s a fear of your own value, or more specifically, that you lack value. But, the great news is we all have value, however, we have to know what it is and how to communicate it to others.
Money Is Not Evil…Or Good

Money is just neutral. It is simply a representation of value provided and value received. The real currency isn’t the bill or the coin that you have in your wallet, but the value you provided to acquire that bill or coin (for instance, working at your job). When you see a product or service that you find valuable, you exchange the representation of your value for the value that someone else is providing through their product or service (example: buying an ice cream cone). Therefore, money is simply the exchange of value.

Stop thinking in terms of bills and coins and start thinking in terms of your own value.
Don’t Just Set The Table, Eat!

Chasing after money, rather than value, is like being really hungry, but instead of eating you settle for simply setting the table. The appearance of food and eating is there, but your body hasn’t been nourished.

Instead of thinking how you can make more money (being profit driven) think about how you can be of greater value (being value driven). Knowing how you are valuable and how to demonstrate that to others will serve you well. When other people believe that you are valuable to them they will want to give you what you are worth (if they can). This is the real position of security.
How To Find Your Value

Do you know how you are valuable? Doing some self-reflection can help you find it. Think about something you desire to create. Are you a scientist doing research “creating” knowledge? Or, do you have an idea on how to change the process by which your office does business, thereby “creating” efficiency and organization? Maybe you are an artist creating sculptures?

Next, you have to figure out how your desired creation fits the needs of other people. This is tricky, and you may have to modify your creation. Remember, it’s not all about you. :) Even the great Renaissance artists had to paint and sculpt for the wealthiest benefactor of the day – the Catholic Church. Creating for the Pope may not have been their ideal situation but they were able to create great works of art and leave a bit of themselves in their artwork. (And, on an up-note, these works are considered some of mankind’s greatest masterpieces.)

Discover how you are valuable and demonstrate that to others. Money isn’t the root of anything, but value is the root of everything.