The Power of Now

Kalau ada ang bertanya ke saya apa buku-buku yang mengubah hidup saya. Salah satu buku-nya adalah ini: The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. Susah menjelaskan apa yang sebenarnya diajarkan oleh buku ini, sampai buku ini berasa seperti kitab yang saya baca-baca ulang terus.

Serunya, karena membaca buku ini, semua ajaran agama menjadi masuk akal. Konsep manusia menjadi masuk akal. Hidup ini menjadi lebih masuk akal. Dan terlebih, kenapa gue depresi selama 5 tahun itu masuk akal banget. Kenapa gue drama itu masuk akal banget.

Jujur, buku ini juga bukan untuk semua orang. Karena beberapa teman yang gue rekomendasikan pun juga gak tertarik. Mungkin ada masanya. Mungkin mereka pun belum siap dengan perubahan. Mungkin mereka masih ingin berada dalam kurungnya.

Beberapa teman yang sudah membacanya, well… they shine brighter. Mereka bisa lebih menikmati hidup, dengan otentik. Indah banget.

Males baca keseluruhan bukunya? Coba baca ini dulu. If you’re ready.



You are not your mind. Be aware of your thinking. 

 

“Being must be felt. It can’t be thought.”

Di sini, Eckhart mengatakan bahwa “You are not your mind.” Kamu adalah bukan pikiranmu.

What? Apa artinya? Pernahkah kamu mengamati apa yang kamu pikirkan? Pikiran-pikiran seperti “Aduh, gue bodo banget sih.” “Gue gak tau mesti ngapain.” “Andaikan gue gak seperti ini.” Dll. Walaupun kamu memikirkan hal-hal ini, bukan berarti kamu adalah pikiran-pikiran ini. Tetapi, sering kali, kita mengidentifikasikan kita dengan pikiran-pikiran kita sendiri. Yang terjadi, akhirnya kita terlalu banyak “Thinking” dengan tidak sadar dan tidak bisa “Being.”

Setiap kali kita merasa sedih, itu sebenarnya kita sedang memainkan kaset pikiran ini berkali-kali seperti musik favorit kita. Kita sendiri yang membuat diri kita sedih dengan memikirkan hal-hal yang terjadi di masa lalu ataupun masa sekarang.

‘Being’ itu hanya bisa terjadi di masa saat ini. Dan being itu terjadi ketika kita mengamati dan merasakan apa yang kita lalui di detik ini juga. Di mana kita benar-benar menyatu dengan saat ini.

Jadi, ketika kamu menemukan dirimu sedang mikirin hal-hal gak penting, coba amati. Jangan dihakimi. Lama kelamaan pikiran-pikiran itu akan hilang dengan sendirinya.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.”

Penyebab ketidakbahagiaan yang utama bukan situasi yang terjadi, tetapi pemikiran kita tentang situasi tersebut. #jleb

Ini sebabnya kita harus selalu sadar dengan apa yang kita pikiran. Situasi itu selalu netral. Situasi itu menjadi baik atau buruk karena pikiran kita, karena judgement kita sendiri. Biarlah situasi menjadi situasi. With no judgement.

“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.”

Kita sekarang berpikir terlalu banyak, mencari terlalu banyak, menginginkan terlalu banyak dan lupa kebahagiaan dari hanya ‘Being.

Oom Eckhart mengajarkan untuk menanyakan diri kita 3 pertanyaan ini setiap kali kita melakukan sesuatu:

    Apakah saya sedang ada di saat ini?

    Apakah saya sedang fokus di aktivitas yang sedang dilakukan?

    Atau apakah badan saya di sini tetapi pikiran-pikiran saya ada di lala land?


Contohnya, setiap kali kamu naik turun tangga di rumah misalnya, coba perhatikan setiap langkah yang kamu ambil, perhatikan setiap detik yang berlalu, termasuk nafasmu. Be totally present.


There is no past. There is no future. Only the present moment.
Problems are created because we are stuck in the past or future.

 

“Stress is caused by being “here” but wanting to be “there,” or being in the present but wanting to be in the future.” Jadi, kalau selama ini  stress itu bukan karena situasi yang terjadi, tetapi karena kita gak mau ada di ‘sini’.

“The past has no power over the present moment.”
Masa lalu ya masa lalu. Masa sekarang ya masa sekarang. Ketika masa lalu itu terbawa-bawa sampai sekarang itu karena kita kebanyakan memikirkan masa lalu. Ketika kita fokus ke saat ini, masa lalu tidak lagi memiliki kuasa atas saat ini.

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.”
Waktu itu hanya sebuah ilusi, kata oom Eckhart. Masa lalu sudah lewat. Masa depan belum ada. Yang kita miliki memang HANYA saat ini. Sering kali kita malah lebih fokus ke masa lalu ataupun masa depan. Contohnya saja, ketika mandi, jarang sekali kita benar-benar merasakan bagaimana rasa air itu di tubuh kita, suara shower yang turun, kerlap-kerlip air yang jatuh, wanginya sabun dan shampoo. Yang ada kita malah kebanyakan MIKIR secara gak sadar. Mikirin nanti mesti ngapain, apa yang sudah dilakukan, apa yang belum, mikirin si itu yang nyebelin, dll.

Untuk menjadikan SAAT INI menjadi fokus kita, itu memang pelajaran baru.

“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love – even the most simple action.”

Begitu kita menghargai saat ini, semua ketidakbahagiaan dan kesulitan mulai hilang perlahan-lahan. Dan hidup mulai mengalir dengan kemudahan dan kebahagiaan. Ketika kita bertindak dari kesadaran di saat ini, apapun yang kita lakukan akan penuh dengan kualitas, kepedulian dan cinta — termasuk hal-hal yang paling kecil.
Seperti mencuci piring. Atau menyetir di tengah kemacetan. Atau mandi. Minum kopi. Ngobrol dengan seseorang.

“The mind unconsciously loves problems because they give you an identity of sorts.”
Jadi, the mind itu suka dengan masalah karena itu memberikan kita identitas? Membuat kita merasa penting? Yang sebenarnya hanya kita ngasih makan ego kita sendiri, gitu? Wow.

“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence. Most people find it difficult to believe that a state of consciousness totally free of all negativity is possible. And yet this is the liberated state to which all spiritual teachings point. It is the promise of salvation, not in an illusory future but right here and now.”

Semua rasa tidak nyaman, gelisah, beban, stress, khawatir – semua form dari rasa takut – disebabkan oleh kebanyakan memikirkan masa depan dan tidak ada di saat ini. Rasa bersalah, penyesalan, benci, kesedihan, kepahitan dan kesulitan memaafkan adalah sebab dari kebanyakan memikirkan masa lalu. Kebanyakan orang memang susah untuk percaya bahwa kita bisa untuk benar-benar bebas dari semua yang negatif. Ini sebenarnya yang diajarkan oleh semua pembelajaran spiritual.

 Be aware of the difference between your “life” and “life situation.”

 

 “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”

Jadi hidup itu akan memberikan kita pengalaman yang sebenarnya kita butuhkan untuk ‘naik kelas’. Dan memang itu pengalaman yang kita butuhkan karena itu adalah pengalaman yang kita alami. Jelas banget. Dan memahami ini membuat kita untuk lebih bisa menerima pengalaman yang datang ke hidup kita dengan lapang dada. Bahwa sebenarnya inilah pengalaman yang gue butuhkan.


“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.”
Apapun yang dibawa oleh masa saat ini, terimalah seperti kamu sendiri yang telah memilihnya. Teringat kata-kata “What you resist, persists.”Apapun yang kita tolak akan terus datang kembali. Jadi, masuk akal banget untuk bisa menerima apapun yang hadir dalam hidup kita seperti kita sendiri yang telah memilihnya.

Wow.

“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.”

Tindakan apapun lebih baik daripada tidak melakukan apapun. Terlebih kalau kita telah terjebak di situasi yang tidak menyenangkan untuk waktu yang lama. Toh, kalau kita melakukan kesalahan kita bisa belajar dari situ dan itu tidak menjadi kesalahan kembali. Kalau kita tidak melakukan apa-apa, kita tidak belajar apapun juga.

Dan, sering kali kita bingung mesti melakukan tindakan apa. Ternyata, apapun itu membantu. Dibanding diam saja dan tidak melakukan apa-apa.

 Be aware of your Pain-Body.

 Apa itu pain-body? Pain body adalah emotional pain yang terus hadir.

Contohnya ketika kita baru putus, kita terus-terus merasakan sakit yang diakibatkan putus ini. Dan biasanya kita terus mengidentifikasikan diri kita dengan rasa sakit ini. Pain-body ini menjadi semakin penting karena memberikan kita ‘a sense of self’. Seperti, “Gue sakit hati." "Gue adalah orang yang mengalami kehilangan." 

 "Gue merana.” Dll.Nah, masalahnya, ketika beridentifikasi dengan pain-body ini, ego kita pun semakin beridentifikasi dengannya. Dan pain ini menjadi self-image kita. Di sini kita adalah masa lalu, kehilanan dan rasa sakit.

“Just as you cannot fight the darkness, you cannot fight the pain-body. Trying to do so would create inner conflict and thus further pain. Watching is enough. Watching it implies accepting it as part of what *is* at that moment.”
Seperti kita tidak bisa melawan kegelapan, kita tidak bisa melawan pain-body. Karena itu akan menyebabkan konflik internal dan rasa sakit lagi. Cukup kita mengamatinya. Dengan mengamatinya, itu berarti kita telah menerima ‘saat ini’.
“The pain-body, which is the dark shadow cast by the ego, is actually afraid of the light of your consciousness. It is afraid of being found out.”
Dan sebenarnya, pain-body, bayangan dari ego kita ini, sebenarnya takut dengan sinar kesadaran kita. Ia takut ditemukan. Karena begitu ia disinari, ia mulai menghilang.

Take care of the inside.

 

“You attract and manifest whatever corresponds to your inner state.”

“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within; secondary reality without.”

“Your outer journey may contain a million steps; your inner journey only has one: the step you are taking right now.”

“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.”


Kita mendapatkan apapun dalam hidup ini yang mencerminkan apa yang ada di dalam diri kita. Kalau yang di dalam itu sudah baik, maka yang di luar pun akan membaik dengan sendirinya. Perjalanan kita di dunia luar bisa mencakup jutaan langkah, tetapi perjalanan di dalam diri hanya 1 langkah, yaitu langkah saat ini.

Sering kali kita lebih ingin mengubah dan memperbaiki realita kita, dunia yang kita lihat. Padahal sebenarnya, kalau kita membenarkan apa yang ada di dalam, itu dengan sendirinya mengubah yang di luar. Ini keren banget. Jadi, dunia ini sebenarnya cermin kita. Kalau dunia/realita kita tidak menyenangkan dan penuh dengan hal-hal negatif, mungkin dalam diri kita yang mesti dibereskan terlebih dahulu.

Drop the negativity.

Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane.”

Ini yang sulit. Begitu kita telah mengidentifikasikan diri kita dengan hal-hal negatif, kita tidak ingin melepaskannya. Secara tidak sadar, kita tidak ingin perubahan positif, karena itu akan menantang identitas kita sebagai seseorang yang depresif, pemarah, dll. Yang kemudian kita sendiri yang mengabaikan, menolak ataupun mensabotase semua hal yang positif yang terjadi di dunia kita. Ini menjadi sesuatu yang sangat biasa. Dan gila.


“The light is too painful for someone who wants to remain in darkness.”
Ini juga sebabnya, positivity menjadi hal yang sangat menyakitkan bagi seseorang yang ingin selalu ada di dalam negativitasnya. Mungkin ini sebabnya kalau kita lagi negatif, kita sebel banget melihat orang-orang yang positif.

“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim.”
Coba kalau kamu bisa menangkap dirimu komplain, baik di pikiran atau melalui kata-kata. Tentang apapun, baik situasi, apa yang orang lain lakukan atau katakan, sekelilingmu, situasi hidupmu ataupun hawa di luar. Ketika kita komplain atau mengeluh, itu sebenarnya kita sedang menolak apa yang terjadi saat ini. Yang akhirnya membawa energi negatif. Ketika kita komplain, kita menjadikan diri kita victim.

“Where there is anger there is always pain underneath.”
Dan setiap kali kita marah, itu hanya mengingatkan bahwa kita masih banyak rasa sakit di dalam.
“Is there a difference between happiness and inner peace? Yes. Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.”

Apakah ada perbedaan antara ‘happiness’ dan ‘inner peace’? Ya. Happiness tergantung dari kondisi yang dipersepsikan sebagai positif; inner peace tidak tergantung apapun. Jadi, terlepas apa yang terjadi di dunia ini, kita sebenarnya tetap bisa merasakan inner peace.

Pay attention and surrender to the Now.

“Accept — then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

Ingat. Apapun yang terjadi dalam hidup, terima dulu baru lakukan tindakan. Terima seperti kamu telah memilihnya sendiri. Bekerja samalah dengannya, bukan bertarung dengannya. Jadikan teman dan bukan musuh. Ini yang akan mengubah hidupmu.

“The moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what is, you are free of the mind.”
Begitu kita berhenti menghakimi situasi, kita bebas dari ‘the mind’. Dan masuk ke ‘being.’
“If you are present, there is never any need for you to wait for anything. So next time somebody says, “Sorry to have kept you waiting,” you can reply, “That’s all right, I wasn’t waiting. I was just standing”

Dan ketika kita sedang ada di saat ini, tidak pernah ada momen menunggu. Jadi, lain kali ketika seseorang mengatakan “Maaf ya telah membuat kamu menunggu,” kamu bisa menjawab, “Ga papa kok, gue gak nunggu juga. Gue cuma berdiri saja.”

“Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life now is true prosperity.”
Kaya? Apa artinya? Kaya itu adalah memiliki rasa syukur kepada momen saat ini dan hidup di saat ini.

(by kaskus)

Makanan yang mengandung trigliserida tinggi

Makanan yang mengandung trigliserida

Apakah ada yang mempunyai daftar makanan dan minuman yang mengandung trigliserida tinggi dengan perbandingan dalam satuan volume, atau berat, seperti daftar makanan yang saya dapatkan untuk kolesterol di bawah ini :

Berikut beberapa makanan dan  Kandungan Kolesterol yang dimiliki per 10 gr nya:

1 Putih telor ayam   0 Sehat

2 Teripang (haisom)   0 Sehat

3 Ubur-ubur    0 Sehat

4 Susu sapi non fat   0 Sehat

5 Daging ayam pilihan tanpa kulit  50 Sehat

6 Daging bebek pilihan tanpa kulit 50 Sehat

7 Ikan sungai biasa   55 Sehat

8 Daging sapi pilihan tanpa lemak  60 Sehat

9 Daging babi pilihan tanpa lemak  60 Sehat

10 Daging kelinci    65 Sehat

11 Daging kambing tanpa lemak  70 Sehat

12 Ikan ekor kuning   85 Sehat

13 Daging asap (ham)   98 Sekali-sekali

14 Iga sapi    100 Sekali-sekali

15 Iga babi    105 Sekali-sekali

16 Daging sapi    105 Sekali-sekali

17 Burung dara    110 Sekali-sekali

18 Ikan bawal    120 Sekali-sekali

19 Daging sapi berlemak   125 Sekali-sekali

20 Gajih sapi    130 Hati-hati

21 Gajih kambing    130 Hati-hati

22 Daging babi berlemak   130 Hati-hati

23 Keju     140 Hati-hati

24 Sosis daging    150 Hati-hati

25 Kepiting    150 Hati-hati

26 Udang     160 Hati-hati

27 Kerang/Siput    160 Hati-hati

28 Belut     185 Hati-hati

29 Santan kelapa    185 Berbahaya

30 Gajih babi    200 Berbahaya

31 Susu Sapi    250 Berbahaya

32 Susu Sapi Cream    280 Berbahaya

33 Coklat/Cacao    290 Berbahaya

34 Mentega/Margarin   300 Berbahaya

35 Jeroan sapi    380 Berbahaya

36 Jeroan babi    420 Berbahaya

37 Kerang putih/remis/Tiram  450 Berbahaya

38 Telor Ayam    500 Berbahaya

39 Jeroan Kambing    610 Berbahaya

40 Cumi-cumi    1170 Pantang

41 Kuning telor ayam   2000 Pantang

42 Otak Sapi    2300 Pantang

43 Otak babi    3100 Pantang

44 Telor burung puyuh   3640 Pantang

 Sumber: General Hospital, Singapore

Happiness Practice, Do you have what it takes ?

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, anxious or bummed out? 
 

With practice, I had developed the tools and support system to enjoy life, despite the hardship and pain. The world around me hadn’t changed, but I changed the way I looked at the world. I had developed a new perspective and grace. 

Here are the five keys that helped me practice joy:
 
1. Maximize the breath.
When you feel yourself getting wound up, pause and take 3-5 full inhales and exhales through the nose. Consciously breathing is one of the simplest ways to control your mood.
 
2. Move your body.
Exercising daily can improve your physical and mental health. So get your blood circulating and break a sweat. Whether it’s simple or serious, you gotta move!
 
3. Do what you love.
It’s important to know what activities make you happy. We all have hobbies that we love, even if we haven't done them since we were kids. Make time for fun. It’s critical.
 
4. Find people who bring out the best in you.
Ditch the people who drain your energy or encourage your bad habits. Be proactive about connecting with people who bring out the best in you. Or find positive role models and mentors who inspire you.
 
5. Practice gratitude.
Focus on your blessings. If you acknowledge all the little things you have to be grateful for, you'll inevitably feel better. Start expressing gratitude to others and consider giving back to those who are less fortunate than you. The attitude of gratitude really helps shift your perspective.

Why living BESIDE your Parents is bad for your Wife

RICHARD:

One afternoon, I heard a story of a lovely mother telling us how she and her husband fell “out of love”.

She said their first 10 years of marriage were good when they were still living abroad together. Trouble started when they moved back to the Philippines to live in a house RIGHT BESIDE her husband’s parent’s home.

From there it was downhill. Having her husband’s family so close invited a shower of frequent criticism over her style of parenting (from the amount of her kid’s allowance, to how she should discipline them).

Now I understand why chinky-eyed Dennis Sy,(the man who married Maricar and I), taught this “LEAVE and CLEAVE seriously during our “engagement seminar”.



Dennis read from the engagement manual, “Therefore a man shall LEAVE his father and mother and shall be joined (CLEAVE) to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

This sentence has 3 parts:

1. LEAVE.
This means there are 2 types of relationships.

The PERMANENT relationship is the HUSBAND-WIFE. The TEMPORARY relationship is the PARENT-CHILD.

Problems occur when these 2 roles are REVERSED and the PARENT-CHILD relationship is treated as the PRIMARY relationship. (In other words, the parent of the husband gets priority over his own wife, or vice versa)

To leave also means EMOTIONALLY, FINANCIALLY, and PHYSICALLY detach. Some may have left the family home physically, but remained emotionally and financially bound to the family, which creates a lot of resentment within the spouse.

2. CLEAVE.
The Hebrew translation means: to PURSUE HARD AFTER SOMEONE/ being GLUED or STUCK TO SOMEONE.

This cleaving implies that there should be NO CLOSER relationship than HUSBAND & WIFE, not with any FRIEND or PARENT.

3. BECOME ONE.
When a husband or wife receives GREATER emotional support from the parents, RATHER THAN THE SPOUSE, ONENESS in a lot of areas of decision-making within the marriage is difficult.

Honestly, I never wanted to leave the family home. It was very comfortable and most things were paid by my parents. But now looking back, I realize LEAVING the family home, ALTHOUGH VERY PAINFUL, changed me in ways I  could not have experienced had I stayed. Here are some of rewards of “leave and cleave”:



REWARD 1. STRONGER HUSBAND LEADERSHIP
I learned more RESPONSIBILITY when I ran away from home. No dad or mom to save your butt. When I committed mistakes, there was no one else to blame and I had to OWN UP to the consequences.

Oppositely, if a man always has his parents to bail him out, his leadership of his own family becomes dependent on his parents. The saying is true: “He that PAYS THE RENT, MAKES THE RULES.” It’s sad for a family to be led by the in-laws.

Maricar and I enjoy making our own family guidelines that may not have to be same as our parents’.



REWARD 2. MORE SECURE & PRIORITIZED WIFE
Our mentors remind us, your marriage vow to God is to keep your wife TOP PRIORITY. If you secure her this way, she will be your NO.1 SUPPORTER, no matter how difficult your road.

But if a wife feels her “In-Laws” are the priority of her husband, she then, can turn into your WORST ENEMY.



REWARD 3. DISCOVER YOUR UNIQUE ROAD
If I stayed in our family home/business, I believe I NEVER would have ended up doing WORK THAT I LOVED. I would have ended up very resentful.

Many have not “found” their destiny because they are afraid and STILL COMFORTABLE, hiding under the family’s shadow.

Conversely, many who took that scary step out are reaping something miraculous that was NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE in the family home. Nobody thought I’d end up singing. Not even me. But I discovered it when I left the nest.



How about you? Are you willing to leave and cleave to strengthen your family relationship & find your own unique road?:)

*http://relationshipmatters.ph

Kata - Kata Ajaib Dalam Promosi Yang Akan Meningkatkan Penjualan

Salah satu keahlian penting dalam sosial media marketing adalah copywriting, atau kemampuan memasarkan sebuah jasa atau produk dengan mempergunakan kalimat promosi yang menarik bagi calon pembeli. Saya tidak akan mengulas mengenai seni copywriting dalam artikel kali ini, namun saya akan mengulas mengenai 4 kata yang mampu meningkatkan kualitas sebuah promosi, anda tertarik? silahkan lanjutkan membaca.
Kalimat promosi yang meningkatkan penjualan
Secara psikologis, banyak orang percaya bahwa 4 kata berikut meningkatkan kualitas sebuah promosi

    Anda

Mempergunakan kata anda dalam promosi yang anda buat seolah-olah saat itu anda tengah berbicara secara langsung dengan calon pembeli dipercaya dapat meningkatkan hubungan baik, meningkatkan kemungkinan interaksi antara anda dan penggemar, dan akhirnya meningkatkan efektifitas promosi yang anda buat.

    Baru

Kata satu ini sering dipakai oleh perusahaan-perusahaan besar untuk mempromosikan produknya, salah satu contohnya adalah promosi iPhone5, New design, new technology, new iPhone.

Trend baru, handphone baru, produk baru, desain baru, dan banyak lagi kalimat yang bisa anda gunakan untuk meningkatkan promosi yang anda buat.

    Gratis

Gratis ongkos kirim, dengan kalimat seperti itu pembeli seakan-akan diberitahu bahwa mereka dapat menghemat banyak dengan membeli produk anda walaupun nyatanya tidak, kata gratis merupakan salah satu kata yang paling banyak dipergunakan karena dipercaya paling ampuh meningkatkan penjualan

    Bergaransi

Ini merupakan sebuah jaminan dan tambahan kepercayaan serta keyakinan bagi calon pembeli anda untuk memutuskan membeli. Menurut sebuah penelitian, banyak orang yang sebenarnya memiliki minat untuk membeli namun membatalkan niatnya tersebut karena rasa takut seperti takut produk yang mereka beli cepat rusak, takut produknya jelek dan lain sebagainya, dengan menambahkan kata bergaransi anda akan mampu meningkatkan keyakinan dan kepercayaan costumer terhadap produk yang anda tawarkan.
Kalimat promosi yang menarik

Sederhana namun memiliki daya tarik secara psikologis, 4 kata diatas sebaiknya mulai anda terapkan dalam promosi anda dan rasakan sendiri hasilnya.

How Your State of Mind Affects Your Performance

Don, a senior vice president for sales at a global manufacturing company, wakes up late, scrambles to get showered and dressed, has an argument with his teenage daughter over breakfast, then gets stuck in traffic on the way to work and realizes he will be late for his first meeting.
Donna, a marketing executive, wakes at 6 for a quick spin on the exercise bike, takes a moment to stretch and relax, then quickly gets herself ready, dresses and feeds her two kids before walking them to the bus, then catches the train to the office.
Which executive will have a more productive day at work?
That depends on whether Don—who’s had the more difficult morning—is able to manage his state of mind. For 20 years, we’ve worked with leaders in more than 30 countries and across diverse industries to help them understand how state of mind (that is, their moment-to-moment experience of life as generated by their thinking and as expressed by their feelings) can affect their leadership, and to help them manage their respective states of mind, rather than being managed by them.
Two years ago our organization launched a long-term global research initiative to provide quantitative data on the topic. We selected 18 states of mind and surveyed leaders around the world on how often they experience each one, the impact of each on their effectiveness and performance, and what they do to manage their states of mind. To date, we have surveyed and interviewed over 740 leaders.
Below is a chart that lists the percentage of leaders who reported experiencing each of the 18 states of mind often or regularly:



Of the 18 states of mind in the chart, it came as no surprise that 94% of respondents reported that Calm, Happy and Energized (CHE) are the three that drive the greatest levels of effectiveness and performance. As Giglio Del Borgo, a country manager at Experian explains: “If you are energized, without being necessarily too excited about things or euphoric, that energy will transmit into the people working around you.”
The chart clearly shows that most leaders seem able to access CHE states on a regular basis. However, Frustrated, Anxious, Tired and Stressed (FATS) states of mind were also relatively common. And we found that certain factors such as age, gender, organizational level, organizational tenure, span of influence, and type/size of organization, are correlated with similar states of mind, with lower states more prevalent in certain categories of people—including the young, the male, those with less tenure, and those operating at lower organizational levels.

Most leaders reported that FATS states often yield benefits in the short term but are detrimental in the long term – especially to relationships. They also report that it is difficult to shift out of these states of mind when they are consistently present in the organizational culture or environment. Davida Fedeli, a former vice-president of human resources for Western Union Europe, told us: “There were times during the change integration process when I was constantly feeling frustrated because I was second-guessing stakeholder expectations. [But] at the end of the day, I was not getting the results I wanted by continuously staying in that state of mind.”

The leaders who responded to our survey also reported that it is much harder to shift from below the line states of mind to above the line states of mind. As Jim Daniell, COO of Oxfam America, noted, “When you’re stressed and frustrated it is much harder to see the state of mind you are in, and unless you have clear strategies to be aware of it when you are in it and then shift it, you more than likely will cause serious harm to yourself and your organization.”
So how do leaders shift from lower states of mind to higher states of mind and improve their effectiveness and performance? And how can they help other people in their organizations who tend to default to lower states of mind do the same? We’ve consolidated the best practices into four categories:

Thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge your emotions to reduce their intensity. Allow your thoughts to be transient. Visualize positive images to generate positive feelings. Refocus your attention on different stimuli. Journal to find clarity. And engage in meaningful conversations to foster understanding and optimism.

Physiology. Use deep breathing to reduce stress. Stretch to loosen muscles, stimulate blood flow and improve cognitive function. And take breaks to clear the mind, relax the prefrontal cortex and increase contentment.

External environment. Adjust lighting and block noise to generate calm. Listen to music to stimulate reflection. Eliminate clutter to reduce anxiety and improve focus. And spend time in nature to shift perspective.

Health and well-being.  Eat a well-balanced diet, stick to an exercise regimen and get adequate sleep to maintain your energy and balance.
Everything in the last category is a must-do. From the others, we recommend choosing the handful of practices that work best for you, then employing them together with consistency.
Don did just that. Realizing the state he was in, he took stock of his anxiety, engaged in deep breathing, visualized having a positive conversation with his daughter, and accepted that he would not change the traffic. He then began to explore how he would manage his lateness and his workload. His state of mind shifted and he felt clear for the first time that day.

Sekolah Cuma 5 Jam, Tanpa PR & Ujian Nasional, Kenapa Pelajar di Finlandia Bisa Pintar?

Semasa sekolah dulu, rasanya mustahil kamu bisa dijuluki murid pintar kalau dapat ranking bontot. Apalagi kalau gak lulus ujian nasional, rasanya dunia selesai di titik itu. Ketatnya persaingan waktu sekolah mungkin memang bertujuan supaya kitaa berlomba-lomba jadi lebih pintar. Tapi tahukah kamu, negara dengan pendidikan terbaik dan murid terpintar di dunia yaitu Finlandia justru melakukan hal yang sebaliknya?
Berbeda dengan kita yang harus menghadapi ujian nasional tiap mau naik jenjang sekolah, seumur-umur pelajar di Finlandia hanya menghadapi 1 ujian nasional ketika mereka berumur 16 tahun. Tidak hanya minim pekerjaan rumah, pelajar di Finlandia juga mendapatkan waktu istirahat hampir 3 kali lebih lama daripada pelajar di negara lain. Namun dengan sistem yang leluasa entah bagaimana mereka justru  bisa belajar lebih baik dan jadi lebih pintar. Makanya kali ini Hipwee bakal mengulas habis rahasia Finlandia yang satu ini.

1. Di Finlandia, Anak-Anak Baru Boleh Bersekolah Setelah Berusia 7 Tahun

beri kesempatan mereka untuk belajar dengan caranya sendiri

Orang tua jaman sekarang pasti udah rempong kalau mikir pendidikan anak. Anaknya belum genap 3 tahun aja udah ngantri dapat pre-school bagus gara-gara takut kalau dari awal sekolahnya gak bagus, nantinya susah dapat SD, SMP, atau SMA yang bagus. Di Finlandia tidak ada kekhawatiran seperti itu. Bahkan menurut hukum, anak-anak baru boleh mulai bersekolah ketika berumur 7 tahun.
Awal yang lebih telat jika dibandingkan negara-negara lain itu justru berasal dari pertimbangan mendalam terhadap kesiapan mental anak-anak untuk belajar. Mereka juga meyakini keutamaan bermain dalam belajar, berimajinasi, dan menemukan jawaban sendiri. Anak-anak di usia dini justru didorong untuk lebih banyak bermain dan bersosialisasi dengan teman sebaya. Bahkan penilaian tugas tidak diberikan hingga mereka kelas 4 SD. Hingga jenjang SMA pun, permainan interaktif masih mendominasi metode pembelajaran.
Pelajar di Finlandia sudah terbiasa menemukan sendiri cara pembelajaran yang paling efektif bagi mereka, jadi nantinya mereka tidak harus merasa terpaksa untuk belajar. Maka dari itu meskipun mulai telat, tapi pelajar umur 15 di Finlandia justru berhasil mengungguli pelajar lain dari seluruh dunia dalam tes internasional Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA). Itu membuktikan faedah dan efektivitas sistem pendidikan di Finlandia.

2. Cara Belajar Ala Finlandia: 45 Menit Belajar, 15 Menit Istirahat

Cara belajar ala FInlandia: banyak istirahat!

Tahukah kamu bahwa untuk setiap 45 menit siswa di Finlandia belajar, mereka berhak mendapatkan rehat selama 15 menit? Orang-orang Finlandia meyakini bahwa kemampuan terbaik siswa untuk menyerap ilmu baru yang diajarkan justru akan datang, jika mereka memilliki kesempatan mengistirahatkan otak dan membangun fokus baru. Mereka juga jadi lebih produktif di jam-jam belajar karena mengerti bahwa toh sebentar lagi mereka akan dapat kembali bermain.
Di samping meningkatkan kemampuan fokus di atas, memiliki jam istirahat yang lebih panjang di sekolah juga sebenarnya memiliki manfaat kesehatan. Mereka jadi lebih aktif bergerak dan bermain, tidak hanya duduk di kelas. Bagus juga kan jika tidak membiasakan anak-anak dari kecil untuk terlalu banyak duduk.

3. Semua Sekolah Negeri Di Finlandia Bebas Dari Biaya. Sekolah Swasta pun Diatur Secara Ketat Agar Tetap Terjangkau

Gak mungkin konsen belajar kalau perut kosong. Finlandia adalah negara pertama dengan program makan siang gratis untuk semua siswa

Satu lagi faktor yang membuat orang tua di Finlandia gak usah pusing-pusing milih sekolah yang bagus untuk anaknya, karena semua sekolah di Finland itu sama bagusnya. Dan yang lebih penting lagi, sama gratisnya. Sistem pendidikan di Finlandia dibangun atas dasar kesetaraan. Bukan memberi subsidi pada mereka yang membutuhkan, tapi menyediakan pendidikan gratis dan berkualitas untuk semua.
Reformasi pendidikan yang dimulai pada tahun 1970-an tersebut merancang sistem kepercayaan yang meniadakan evaluasi atau ranking sekolah sehingga antara sekolah gak perlu merasa berkompetisi. Sekolah swasta pun diatur dengan peraturan ketat untuk tidak membebankan biaya tinggi kepada siswa. Saking bagusnya sekolah-sekolah negeri di sana, hanya terdapat segelintir sekolah swasta yang biasanya juga berdiri karena basis agama.
Tidak berhenti dengan biaya pendidikan gratis, pemerintah Finlandia juga menyediakan fasilitas pendukung proses pembelajaran seperti makan siang, biaya kesehatan, dan angkutan sekolah secara cuma-cuma. Memang sih sistem seperti ini mungkin berjalan karena kemapanan perekonomian Finlandia. Tapi jika memahami sentralnya peran pendidikan dalam membentuk masa depan bangsa, seharusnya semua negara juga berinvestasi besar untuk pendidikan. Asal gak akhirnya dikorupsi aja sih.

4. Semua Guru Di Finlandia Dibiayai Pemerintah Untuk Meraih Gelar Master. Gaji Mereka Juga Termasuk Dalam Jajaran Pendapatan Paling Tinggi di Finlandia.

Profesional S2 yang dibayar tinggi

Disamping kesetaraan fasilitas dan sokongan dana yang mengucur dari pemerintah, penopang utama dari kualitas merata yang ditemukan di semua sekolah di Finlandia adalah mutu guru-gurunya yang setinggi langit. Guru adalah salah satu pekerjaan paling bergengsi di Finlandia. Pendapatan guru di Finlandia pun lebih dari dua kali lipat dari guru di Amerika Serikat.Tidak peduli jenjang SD atau SMA, semua guru di Finlandia diwajibkan memegang gelar master yang disubsidi penuh oleh pemerintah dan memiliki tesis yang sudah dipublikasi.
Finlandia memahami bahwa guru adalah orang yang paling berpengaruh dalam meningkatkan mutu pendidikan generasi masa depannya. Maka dari itu, Finlandia berinvestasi besar-besaran untuk meningkatkan mutu tenaga pengajarnya. Tidak saja kualitas, pemerintah Finlandia juga memastikan ada cukup guru untuk pembelajaran intensif yang optimal. Ada 1 guru untuk 12 siswa di Finlandia, rasio yang jauh lebih tinggi daripada negara-negara lain. Jadi guru bisa memberikan perhatian khusus untuk tiap anak, gak cuma berdiri di depan kelas.
Jika Indonesia ingin semaju Finlandia dalam urusan pendidikan, guru-guru kita selayaknya juga harus mendapatkan sokongan sebagus ini. Kalau perhatian kita ke guru kurang, kenapa kita menuntut mereka harus memberikan yang terbaik dalam proses pembelajaran? Tidak adil ‘kan?

5. Guru Dianggap Paling Tahu Bagaimana Cara Mengevaluasi Murid-Muridnya. Karena Itu, Ujian Nasional Tidaklah Perlu.

Guru yang selalu mendampingi tahu yang dibutuhkan siswanya

Kredibilitas dan mutu tenaga pengajar yang tinggi memungkinkan pemerintah menyerahkan tanggung jawab membentuk kurikulum dan evaluasi pembelajaran langsung kepada mereka. Hanya terdapat garis pedoman nasional longgar yang harus diikuti. Ujian nasional pun tidak diperlukan. Pemerintah meyakini bahwa guru adalah orang yang paling mengerti kurikulum dan cara penilaian terbaik yang paling sesuai dengan siswa-siswa mereka.
Diversitas siswa seperti keberagaman tingkatan sosial atau latar belakang kultur biasanya jadi tantangan sendiri dalam menyeleraskan mutu pendidikan. Bisa jadi gara-gara fleksibilitas dalam sistem pendidikan Finlandia itu, semua diversitas justru bisa difasilitasi. Jadi dengan caranya sendiri-sendiri, siswa-siswa yang berbeda ini bisa mengembangkan potensinya secara maksimal.

6. Siswa SD-SMP di Finlandia Cuma Sekolah 4-5 Jam/hari. Buat Siswa SMP dan SMA, Sistem Pendidikan Mereka Sudah Seperti Di Bangku Kuliah

Belajar karena pingin pasti hasilnya lebih efektif

Tidak hanya jam istirahat yang lebih panjang, jam sekolah di Finlandia juga relatif lebih pendek dibandingkan negara-negara lain. Siswa-siswa SD di Finlandia kebanyakan hanya berada di sekolah selama 4-5 jam per hari. Siswa SMP dan SMA pun mengikuti sistem layaknya kuliah. Mereka hanya akan datang pada jadwal pelajaran yang mereka pilih. Mereka tidak datang merasa terpaksa tapi karena pilihan mereka.
Pendeknya jam belajar justru mendorong mereka untuk lebih produktif. Biasanya pada awal semester, guru-guru justru menyuruh mereka untuk menentukan target atau aktivitas pembelajaran sendiri. Jadi ketika masuk kelas, mereka tidak sekedar tahu dan siap tapi juga tidak sabar untuk memulai proyeknya sendiri.

7. Gak Ada Sistem Ranking di Sekolah. Finlandia Percaya Bahwa Semua Murid Itu Seharusnya Ranking 1

Gak ada yang putus sekolah

Upaya pemerintah meningkatkan mutu sekolah dan guru secara seragam di Finlandia pada akhirnya berujung pada harapan bahwa semua siswa di Finlandia dapat jadi pintar. Tanpa terkecuali. Maka dari itu, mereka tidak mempercayai sistem ranking atau kompetisi yang pada akhirnya hanya akan menghasilkan ‘sejumlah siswa pintar’ dan ‘sejumlah siswa bodoh’.
Walaupun ada bantuan khusus untuk siswa yang merasa butuh, tapi mereka tetap ditempatkan dalam kelas dan program yang sama. Tidak ada juga program akselerasi. Pembelajaran di sekolah berlangsung secara kolaboratif. Bahkan anak dari kelas-kelas berbeda pun sering bertemu untuk kelas campuran. Strategi itu terbukti berhasil karena saat ini Finlandia adalah negara dengan kesenjangan pendidikan terkecil di dunia.
- Hardiana Noviantari

Steps to Building Great Business Relationships

It was the early 1990s, the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I was working as a sales rep for a prominent software company. Making the rounds of my Wall Street clients, I wished them happy holidays and thanked them for their business.

As I was leaving an appointment with the CIO of a very large investment bank, I shook his hand and wished him a Happy New Year. He stopped me and went back to his desk, took out a piece of paper and handed it to me. It was an order signed by the CEO dramatically increasing their purchase of our software and renewing their contract six months early.

I was stunned. I hadn’t been looking to make this sale—really, there was no reason for him to reorder this early. But as his sales rep, this was spectacular news: As at many companies, my employer used “multipliers” at year-end to encourage reps to sell more, so I would make a lot more money making this sale in late December than in June.
I thanked him profusely.  And as I walked back to my office, I thought about why he did it. How did he convince his boss they should renew well before they had to?  What was his rationale to his boss for buying so much more?

Eventually it dawned on me that after years having a solid relationship with me, he’d taken an emotional stake in my success. He went out of his way and used precious political capital to help me out even when I hadn’t asked him to.  If I had asked for this it is quite likely it would not have happened and may even have damaged our relationship.

To me, this is the defining attribute of a great business relationship: when each party has an emotional stake in the other’s success. This reciprocal relationship is common in our personal lives—in most families, we can expect our parents and siblings to have that, as well as some close friends. But for a business associate who was a stranger only two years ago, how did we reach this point?

I reflected on this and other business relationships that were similar.  I looked backwards to see what was different about them. In the process, I identified five steps that lead to someone having an emotional stake in my professional success:

First, and somewhat obviously, they must like you. You can’t move very far in any relationship without this basic prerequisite. Being likable or not seems binary, but there are ways to make yourself more likable. You can also go about specifically trying to accomplish getting people to like you more. Go out of your way to be friendly and helpful.

Second, they must respect you professionally.  They must look with admiration at how you do your work, how you behave, and how treat others.  Specifically, are you competent? Are your professional? Do you follow up? Are you among the best at what you do?  Work hard at getting them to respect you.

Third, they need to admire your “whole person”—not just who you are at work. This only happens as your relationship begins to migrate outside the workplace. Maybe you’ll attend a ballgame together, or go to a concert or dinner, often one on one. You’ll spend quality time learning about each other. Over time, as you get to know people better, other aspects of their life become part of the conversation. Are you active in church or charity?  Do you volunteer?  If you have children, how much time do you spend with them? Are you living a life worthy of others’ respect?  Once this step has been accomplished, the other person will be genuinely happy and interested to hear of your success and accomplishments.  There will be no resentment or jealously.

Fourth, your lives start to mingle more deeply.  As this happens, it becomes natural to invite spouses, significant others, and children to your out of office interactions–things like cookouts, hikes, boating, etc. You’re spending quality time together really getting to know each other—and a friendship is really budding. At this stage, not only are they happy for your success, but they are willing to actively contribute to it. They may provide a job reference, invite you to an important conference, or set up a meeting with a peer of theirs at another company. At your initiative, they burn some political capital, happily, to help you out.
Fifth, you maintain the intensity of the relationship, over time, even after the business relationship is no longer necessary. Consistency and longevity are key. This is where lots of people fall off—once the business benefit disappears, they can’t “find time,” and the relationship fades away. After all the work they put in the relationship, just as it’s about to becomes the most valuable, they turn the dial down or off.
I’d gone through all of these steps with the investment bank CIO, and that’s why he’d sought approval to make a big year-end order well ahead of schedule. It’s also why, even after I left that sales rep job, we kept in close touch.  Years later, he attended a family wedding. More than 20 years after that holiday order, I wrote a reference for his son’s business school application.

Good relationships and trust are the lubricants of a successful career and a well-rounded life.  But it’s important not to pursue relationships cynically. Just as you need to get people to like you, these relationships are only really worth pursuing with people you genuinely like. There are enough people out there are really likable to not have to fake it. Jim Dougherty

Gross Signs You’ve Reached Peak Comfort Levels In Your Relationship

When we begin a relationship, we try to be the best version of ourselves. We’re always clean, always shaven and never discuss anything that doesn’t work to enhance the dynamic and cultivate closeness: family, lifelong goals, deepest secrets or what we did during the day.

Nothing creates intimacy, however, like an accidental fart or a severely unshaven vagina.

Nothing makes you realize how much you love your boyfriend or girlfriend than when their gross morning breath somehow isn’t that gross, or when weight gain in particularly unattractive places doesn’t make you cringe.

We’re all human, and we can’t sustain this level of perfection that we all strive to attain in the beginning of our relationships. Eventually, the stuff we worked so hard to keep hidden comes out — literally.

Here’s how you know the love is real.

1. There’s no demanding need to shave.

The beauty of a comfortable relationship is that you only need to shave if you want to. There’s no longer that weird pressure to do so to impress someone.

Sure, lots of us shave for ourselves and not for the pleasure of a man, but long winter months make even the most uptight of ladies lazy.

The last thing any girl wants to do in the winter is spend time in the shower shaving off the scruff keeping her legs and ladybits warm; it just gives the bottom half of her body even more goosebumps on the walk out of the shower.

I mean, is there anything worse than having to emerge from the coziness of a steaming shower when it’s 30 degrees outside? Don’t make it worse by forcing her to remove her natural blanket.

Also, any boyfriend would be a total jerk if he dumped his girlfriend just because she didn’t shave for a month. What if she was just prepping the area for the landing strip she’s crafting for you for your birthday? You’d never know.

2. You fart in front of each other.

Surprise! With a booty comes a bootyhole.

Girls especially like to pretend they don’t fart. They probably spend the first six-to-18 months of a relationship convincing their boyfriends that the only holes they have are their mouths and ladybits.

But one night, you will take her to get Mexican food for your anniversary, you will be having sex and press on her stomach weirdly, or she will be unsuccessful in yet another attempt at trying to hide and blame you for one of the many SBDs she does in front of you — and the inevitable will occur.

Just laugh, OK? There’s no turning back now. You both fart.

3. Poop is discussed in any capacity.

Nobody likes talking about pooping. That kind of talk is reserved for your health-conscious mother when she asks if you’re eating enough fiber, with your doctor at a check-up, and with your closest friends during chats about everyone’s varying levels of constipation.

A new milestone in any relationship is reached when someone mentions his or her bowels, so you know you’ve hit peak comfort level with your boyfriend when you can discuss how much you have to sh*t.

This, along with number 2, is another reminder that girls are human. The guy who wrote that “Everyone Poops” book is a damn genius.

4. Period talk, especially the non-judgmental kind, is acceptable.

Sometimes, it’s necessary.

A girl suffers more than just the obvious bleeding for five days straight when she gets her period. She may become more irritable, impatient, emotional and in need of random foods.

Maybe she doesn’t feel like having sex with you, or maybe her sex drive is out of control. Maybe she looks a little bloated in her crop top. Maybe, mid-hookup, it comes out. In all of these cases, period talk will happen.

A good relationship knows the two key components of acceptable period talk: what kind (if it involves the prospect of period sex or a need for complaining) and when to do it (only if she brings it up — which means never, ever, ask “Jesus, are you on your period?” after a heated conversation).

If conversations about periods occur without your boyfriend wanting to jump off a cliff, consider your relationship golden.
 
5. You pee with the door open.

If you’re in the middle of a crucial conversation, why end it just because one of you has to pee? Just leave the door open a crack, continue with that thought and let it out. Or, if you’re getting ready to go in the shower together, just sit on the toilet and go.

Before the first time this happens, you’ll probably ask if you could, and your partner will probably give you a nervous, hasty, “Uh, yeah, that’s fine.”

But soon, it won’t matter, and you’ll both get used to the sound.

6. You let him pee in the shower when you shower together.

Girls find the phenomenon of “peeing while standing” incredibly foreign and strange, and they like to keep the idea of showering with you as sexy as possible. Considering these two major thought processes, if she lets you pee in the shower while she’s in it with you, it’s a pretty big deal.

Of course, you’d better turn the f*ck around and make sure she doesn’t actually see anything. Also, for the love of God, make sure it goes in the direction of the drain.

7. Morning breath doesn’t gross you out.
I find it interesting how often people avoid discussing the unsexy parts of a post-hookup sleepover: the smudged makeup that reveals nasty blemishes, the obnoxious snoring, how impossible it is to actually fall asleep and stay asleep, the eye crusties and the morning breath.

Oh, that morning breath.

After a sufficient amount of sleepovers with your significant other, you’ve definitely caught a whiff of their rancid halitosis.

Those luxurious early hours of pre-teeth-brushing morning sex will inevitably begin with traces of putrid breath, especially if your partner is someone who still wears a retainer to sleep.

Soon, however, either you will get used to said morning breath (after all, morning sex involves making out and swapping your morning breath with your partner’s) or you’ll be able to ignore it. Either way, power to you and your relationship.

8. A new hobby involves popping pimples and blackheads.

Girls receive a sick pleasure out of popping pimples and blackheads. They love any kind of beauty routine that promises cleanliness and purity, even if the process is painful.

The ordeal involves washing their face thoroughly, pressing a hot wash cloth onto the face to open pores, and grabbing the nearest silver popping tool. Then, the squeezing begins.

It’s the best.

This kind of event is enjoyable for girls because it is their face, and because all dirt and gunk and whatnot that emerges is from their own bodies.

However, if your girlfriend offers to pop your pimples — that is, willingly come face-to-face with your dirt and gunk — take it as a sign that she finds even the grossest parts of you appealing and worthy of your touch. That’s huge.

9. Sicknesses don’t make kissing off-limits.

He’s oozing boogers. She’s got crusty Pink Eye. You hear the phlegm in his lungs when he coughs. She just puked. But nothing stops you from being with your partner and wanting to take care of him/her — and maybe even get physical.

Sick significant others will likely say things like, “No, I look really gross, stop,” or “There is no way I look cute right now,” to try to prevent you from seeing them (or to guilt you into disagreeing with their self-deprecations and bringing them soup), but you will dispute them.

Even with snot seeping from her nose and dark circles under his eyes, your boyfriend or girlfriend is just as appealing as he or she is in black tie attire.

At least, that’s what you’d better say.

10. Weight gain isn’t a big deal.

In this media-driven, image-obsessed world, we all strive to have the best bodies. Men stuff their faces with protein, women eat carrots, and everyone kills themselves at the gym.

These strategies are effective for the beginning of a relationship, but once you’re deep in one, laziness inevitably sets in.

When you’re in a relationship, you may notice changes in your significant other’s body overtime.

Maybe your arm sits differently on their waist, maybe you notice a pooch forming when you’re naked, or maybe you find you need to buy a bigger sized shirt than last year for this year’s Christmas present.

But weight doesn’t matter. You still remember them exactly how they were when you first met, and you still love them with the extra pounds.
11. Despite all of this, you actually still find your significant other sexy.

This is not a matter of simply tolerating these gross things; it’s a matter of still thinking your partner is incredibly hot regardless of them.

The poops, the weight, the sicknesses, the pimples — nothing can stop your heart from beating and your sexual drive from climbing.

Ten minutes ago, your boyfriend literally Dutch-ovened you with his farts, and now your bra is off and you’re ready to pounce him. How is this possible?

This truly must be what love is.