A smooth, blemish-free skin has become the dream of all young women, which they can show off to everyone. However, acne plagues millions of people of all ages and can leave the acne scars on the affected area.
Acne scars are actually a post-inflammatory change, which have a serious effect on a person's self-esteem and emotional state. The following recommended natural remedies may give you fast relief for acne scars.
White Sugar
After cleansing, rub a little white sugar on your palm. Add some water to prevent stimulating the sensitive skin. Then rub it over your face for 1 minute. Rinse with clean water. Do it 3 times a day.
As far as medicine is concerned, sugar is beneficial for wound-healing. It is recommended to wash your face with white sugar every day. In a week, your skin will be white and smooth again. In addition, it is also effective in treating acne scars. Persist and you will achieve great results than you might think. For some people it is really a cheap and easy way to deal with skin conditions.
Seaweed Mask
Go and buy a bag of seaweed pellet mask in a cosmetic store. Add some clean water to 20 grams of seaweed pellets to make a face mask. Apply it to your face for 10 minutes. Rinse with clean water and then apply some face cream. Do it every two days.
This facial mask has proved to be highly effective in eliminating acne scars and will leave your skin feeling incredibly smooth and silky. It only costs you about 5 yuan for the seaweed pellets, and a bag of pellets can be used for 8 times.
Vitamin C Mask
Crush 500 mg of Vitamin C tablets in mineral water. Soak the mask paper into the water. Apply it to your skin and leave it on for 1 minute.
Experts said that 500 mg tablets is enough, and this is a simple and practical mask to clear up acne and its scars.
Carrot
Crush fresh or cooked carrots into a paste. Add degreasing dissolving powders. Stir until it gets thick. Apply the paste to your face till it dries up. Rinse with clean water. To date, carrot is accepted to be an amazing food to fade and heal scars.
Aloe Vera and Phosphatide
Take 1/4 cup of aloe vera juice and a spoon of phosphatide powders. Mix them together and stir evenly. Apply the paste to the scars for at least 15 minutes. Do it once a day.
Some researches have shown that aloe vera produces positive medicinal benefits for healing damaged skin, while phosphatide can resume the situation of decrease of skin laying rapidly and maintain the reasonable balance of moisture to the skin.
Dermatologists suggest that early acne treatment is the best way to prevent acne scars. But if you have scarring from acne, the above are some fast and easy methods being used for fast removal of acne scars.Tapioca + Egg White
Tapioca + Egg White
Break an egg and get the egg white. Mix it with 10 grams of tapioca. Apply the paste to your face and leave it on for 15-20 minutes. Be careful to avoid areas around the eyes and mouth. Do it twice a week.
As we know, tapioca and egg white are both famous for whitening and cooling effect. Mix them together to make a face mask will do wonders to your skin. It not only helps to make your skin smooth and soft, but eliminate the acne scars effectively. This homemade mask is also a cheap one and just cost you less than $2.
Tapioca + Yogurt
Add several drops of yogurt into the tapioca. Stir evenly. Apply the paste to the acne scars before you get to sleep in the evening. Rinse it the next morning.
Keep in mind that too much tapioca is not necessary, or it will cause the blockage of pores. Use low fat or degreasing yogurt to avoid fat granules. Persist, and you will get great results. This inexpensive method again, won't cost you more than $2.
Apple
Cut an apple into slices. Pour the boiled water over the apple slices until they become soft. Cool down and apply to the acne scars for 20 minutes. Rinse with clean water.
This is really a very simple remedy to treat acne and acne scars. You just need to apply it to your skin twice a week. Make sure to pick fresh apples. One apple only costs you about 30 cents.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
The 9 Most Overlooked Threats to a Marriage
I feel bad for marital communication, because it gets blamed for everything. For generations, in survey after survey, couples have rated marital communication as the number one problem in marriage. It's not.
Marital communication is getting a bad rap. It's like the kid who fights back on the playground. The playground supervisors hear a commotion and turn their heads just in time to see his retaliation. He didn't create the problem; he was reacting to the problem. But he's the one who gets caught, so he's sent off to the principal's office.
Or, in the case of marital communication, the therapist's office.
I feel bad for marital communication, because everyone gangs up on him, when the truth is, on the playground of marriage, he's just reacting to one of the other troublemakers who started the fight:
1. We marry people because we like who they are.
People change. Plan on it. Don't marry someone because of who they are, or who you want them to become. Marry them because of who they are determined to become. And then spend a lifetime joining them in their becoming, as they join you in yours.
2. Marriage doesn't take away our loneliness.
To be alive is to be lonely. It's the human condition. Marriage doesn't change the human condition. It can't make us completely unlonely. And when it doesn't, we blame our partner for doing something wrong, or we go searching for companionship elsewhere. Marriage is intended to be a place where two humans share the experience of loneliness and, in the sharing, create moments in which the loneliness dissipates. For a little while.
3. Shame baggage. Yes, we all carry it it.
We spend most of our adolescence and early adulthood trying to pretend our shame doesn't exist so, when the person we love triggers it in us, we blame them for creating it. And then we demand they fix it. But the truth is, they didn't create it and they can't fix it. Sometimes the best marital therapy is individual therapy, in which we work to heal our own shame. So we can stop transferring it to the ones we love.
4. Ego wins. We've all got one.
We came by it honestly. Probably sometime around the fourth grade when kids started to be jerks to us. Maybe earlier if our family members were jerks first. The ego was a good thing. It kept us safe from the emotional slings and arrows. But now that we're grown and married, the ego is a wall that separates. It's time for it to come down. By practicing openness instead of defensiveness, forgiveness instead of vengeance, apology instead of blame, vulnerability instead of strength, and grace instead of power.
5. Life is messy and marriage is life.
So marriage is messy, too. But when things stop working perfectly, we start blaming our partner for the snags. We add unnecessary mess to the already inescapable mess of life and love. We must stop pointing fingers and start intertwining them. And then we can we walk into, and through, the mess of life together. Blameless and shameless.
6. Empathy is hard.
By its very nature, empathy cannot happen simultaneously between two people. One partner must always go first, and there's no guarantee of reciprocation. It takes risk. It's a sacrifice. So most of us wait for our partner to go first. A lifelong empathy standoff. And when one partner actually does take the empathy plunge, it's almost always a belly flop. The truth is, the people we love are fallible human beings and they will never be the perfect mirror we desire. Can we love them anyway, by taking the empathy plunge ourselves?
7. We care more about our children than about the one who helped us make them.
Our kids should never be more important than our marriage, and they should never be less important. If they're more important, the little rascals will sense it and use it and drive wedges. If they're less important, they'll act out until they are given priority. Family is about the constant, on-going work of finding the balance.
8. The hidden power struggle.
Most conflict in marriage is at least in part a negotiation around the level of interconnectedness between lovers. Men usually want less. Women usually want more. Sometimes, those roles are reversed. Regardless, when you read between the lines of most fights, this is the question you find: Who gets to decide how much distance we keep between us? If we don't ask that question explicitly, we'll fight about it implicitly. Forever.
9. We don't know how to maintain interest in one thing or one person anymore.
We live in a world pulling our attention in a million different directions. The practice of meditation--attending to one thing and then returning our attention to it when we become distracted, over and over and over again--is an essential art. When we are constantly encouraged to attend to the shiny surface of things and to move on when we get a little bored, making our life a meditation upon the person we love is a revolutionary act. And it is absolutely essential if any marriage is to survive and thrive. <huff post>
Marital communication is getting a bad rap. It's like the kid who fights back on the playground. The playground supervisors hear a commotion and turn their heads just in time to see his retaliation. He didn't create the problem; he was reacting to the problem. But he's the one who gets caught, so he's sent off to the principal's office.
Or, in the case of marital communication, the therapist's office.
I feel bad for marital communication, because everyone gangs up on him, when the truth is, on the playground of marriage, he's just reacting to one of the other troublemakers who started the fight:
1. We marry people because we like who they are.
People change. Plan on it. Don't marry someone because of who they are, or who you want them to become. Marry them because of who they are determined to become. And then spend a lifetime joining them in their becoming, as they join you in yours.
2. Marriage doesn't take away our loneliness.
To be alive is to be lonely. It's the human condition. Marriage doesn't change the human condition. It can't make us completely unlonely. And when it doesn't, we blame our partner for doing something wrong, or we go searching for companionship elsewhere. Marriage is intended to be a place where two humans share the experience of loneliness and, in the sharing, create moments in which the loneliness dissipates. For a little while.
3. Shame baggage. Yes, we all carry it it.
We spend most of our adolescence and early adulthood trying to pretend our shame doesn't exist so, when the person we love triggers it in us, we blame them for creating it. And then we demand they fix it. But the truth is, they didn't create it and they can't fix it. Sometimes the best marital therapy is individual therapy, in which we work to heal our own shame. So we can stop transferring it to the ones we love.
4. Ego wins. We've all got one.
We came by it honestly. Probably sometime around the fourth grade when kids started to be jerks to us. Maybe earlier if our family members were jerks first. The ego was a good thing. It kept us safe from the emotional slings and arrows. But now that we're grown and married, the ego is a wall that separates. It's time for it to come down. By practicing openness instead of defensiveness, forgiveness instead of vengeance, apology instead of blame, vulnerability instead of strength, and grace instead of power.
5. Life is messy and marriage is life.
So marriage is messy, too. But when things stop working perfectly, we start blaming our partner for the snags. We add unnecessary mess to the already inescapable mess of life and love. We must stop pointing fingers and start intertwining them. And then we can we walk into, and through, the mess of life together. Blameless and shameless.
6. Empathy is hard.
By its very nature, empathy cannot happen simultaneously between two people. One partner must always go first, and there's no guarantee of reciprocation. It takes risk. It's a sacrifice. So most of us wait for our partner to go first. A lifelong empathy standoff. And when one partner actually does take the empathy plunge, it's almost always a belly flop. The truth is, the people we love are fallible human beings and they will never be the perfect mirror we desire. Can we love them anyway, by taking the empathy plunge ourselves?
7. We care more about our children than about the one who helped us make them.
Our kids should never be more important than our marriage, and they should never be less important. If they're more important, the little rascals will sense it and use it and drive wedges. If they're less important, they'll act out until they are given priority. Family is about the constant, on-going work of finding the balance.
8. The hidden power struggle.
Most conflict in marriage is at least in part a negotiation around the level of interconnectedness between lovers. Men usually want less. Women usually want more. Sometimes, those roles are reversed. Regardless, when you read between the lines of most fights, this is the question you find: Who gets to decide how much distance we keep between us? If we don't ask that question explicitly, we'll fight about it implicitly. Forever.
9. We don't know how to maintain interest in one thing or one person anymore.
We live in a world pulling our attention in a million different directions. The practice of meditation--attending to one thing and then returning our attention to it when we become distracted, over and over and over again--is an essential art. When we are constantly encouraged to attend to the shiny surface of things and to move on when we get a little bored, making our life a meditation upon the person we love is a revolutionary act. And it is absolutely essential if any marriage is to survive and thrive. <huff post>
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
10 Real Differences Between Being In Love And Loving Someone
It took me a very long time to learn the difference between being in love with someone and actually loving that person. I learned the hard way, the very, very hard way.
Hearts were broken repeatedly over the years, and although I wish the pain could have been avoided, the experiences taught me more than any book or class ever could.
I grew up on fairy tales and love stories that taught me to believe that being in love and loving are the same thing. That couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Being in love with someone and loving that person are two different things. Understanding the difference and being able to apply the knowledge to your own relationships is key to building a lasting relationship.
Here are a few differences between being in love and loving that I wish I knew a decade sooner:
Being in love is believing you need someone in order to be happy.
You need him or her to be a part of your life in some way or another, not because you want to own a piece of this person, but because you want to give him or her a piece of yourself; loving someone is deeming him or her worthy of owning a part of you.
It isn’t about ownership; it’s about wanting only the best for that individual — something that often means letting that love go.
No one wants to come down from such a high. This is where the problem lies: You inevitably do come down.
Thinking about someone, wishing the best for that person, doing the best to make him or her happy and, well, caring for that person just as much as — if not more than — yourself, that’s what love is. The emotions that come with it are just the perks.
Once you have passed the stage of simply being in love with someone to actually loving him or her, you have to learn to let go of the constant high and to ride the less frequent waves as they come. They always come. They just aren’t the “in love” emotional state that only falling in love allows for.
You want to spend more time with this person, get to know him or her better, be with this person as much as possible. You always want to have more, and want to build a greater, more serious relationship.
Unfortunately, everything in the universe is finite. You can’t make progress and continue building something greater forever. The only thing you can eventually do is keep reinforcing what you already have.
Being in love is not only understanding that what you have is all you need, but wanting to strengthen that bond indefinitely.
You believe this person to be the most amazing specimen you have ever encountered. Sadly, this way of thinking usually wears off as soon as the feel-good chemicals wear off. Then you’re left lost and confused.
However, life always manages to give us those reminders. Life will often keep people away from us, harm those in our lives and sometimes even take them from us entirely.
When you truly love someone, such moments of separation and loss overwhelm you with emotion. People often forget how much they love a person — or fail to realize how much they love them — until life forces them to remember.
Being in love — and romantic love altogether — is mostly a result of our minds’ creation. We make, or allow, ourselves to fall in love by romanticizing the individual as well as the relationship. When you’re in love, reality doesn’t always line up with your version of it.
They may remove themselves, or be removed, from our lives, but they never leave our minds. Their memory, the thought of them, makes us feel strong emotion. Their presence in our lives has had such an incredible influence on us that, because of them, we are different people.
When you love someone, you can’t stop loving that person because it would require you to stop loving a part of you yourself.
<elitedaily.com>
Hearts were broken repeatedly over the years, and although I wish the pain could have been avoided, the experiences taught me more than any book or class ever could.
I grew up on fairy tales and love stories that taught me to believe that being in love and loving are the same thing. That couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Being in love with someone and loving that person are two different things. Understanding the difference and being able to apply the knowledge to your own relationships is key to building a lasting relationship.
Here are a few differences between being in love and loving that I wish I knew a decade sooner:
When you’re in love with someone, you want this person.
Being in love is wanting to own a part of the other person. It’s believing this person is so wonderful that you want him or her to be a part of your life, a part of you. When you fall in love with a person, you feel an intense urge to consume that person in any way you can.Being in love is believing you need someone in order to be happy.
When you love someone, you need this person.
You don’t just want — or rather, don’t only want — you need him or her. You need this person to live a happy and healthy life because your happiness literally depends on it.You need him or her to be a part of your life in some way or another, not because you want to own a piece of this person, but because you want to give him or her a piece of yourself; loving someone is deeming him or her worthy of owning a part of you.
It isn’t about ownership; it’s about wanting only the best for that individual — something that often means letting that love go.
When you’re in love with someone, your emotions are always on high.
Your brain is producing the most amazing chemical cocktail, making you feel as if you were floating atop of a cloud. You get high just by being in love with a person — and it’s a sort of high you never want to let go of.No one wants to come down from such a high. This is where the problem lies: You inevitably do come down.
When you love someone, your emotions settle and then fluctuate.
Loving someone isn’t as much about the emotions as it is about the thoughts.Thinking about someone, wishing the best for that person, doing the best to make him or her happy and, well, caring for that person just as much as — if not more than — yourself, that’s what love is. The emotions that come with it are just the perks.
Once you have passed the stage of simply being in love with someone to actually loving him or her, you have to learn to let go of the constant high and to ride the less frequent waves as they come. They always come. They just aren’t the “in love” emotional state that only falling in love allows for.
When you’re in love with someone, you’re aiming to reach some goal.
That’s what makes falling in love so exciting — the constant yearning for more.You want to spend more time with this person, get to know him or her better, be with this person as much as possible. You always want to have more, and want to build a greater, more serious relationship.
When you love someone, you aren’t rushing to reach the finish line.
The goal that being in love calls for no longer exists — but only because it’s already been reached. This often scares people because they begin to feel a need to continue making progress.Unfortunately, everything in the universe is finite. You can’t make progress and continue building something greater forever. The only thing you can eventually do is keep reinforcing what you already have.
Being in love is not only understanding that what you have is all you need, but wanting to strengthen that bond indefinitely.
When you’re in love with someone, you think you care more about that person more than you actually do.
Falling in love is much, much easier than loving. When you’re in love, the chemicals in your brain and body make you feel as if the person is the greatest person in the world.You believe this person to be the most amazing specimen you have ever encountered. Sadly, this way of thinking usually wears off as soon as the feel-good chemicals wear off. Then you’re left lost and confused.
When you love someone, you care about that person more than you think.
Being in love is easily recognizable, as it makes you feel a constant yearning, a constant need. Loving, on the other hand, doesn’t give you such constant reminders.However, life always manages to give us those reminders. Life will often keep people away from us, harm those in our lives and sometimes even take them from us entirely.
When you truly love someone, such moments of separation and loss overwhelm you with emotion. People often forget how much they love a person — or fail to realize how much they love them — until life forces them to remember.
When you’re in love with someone, you can fall out of love with that someone.
What goes up must come down. In the case of falling in love, what comes down often crawls back up. If you can fall in love with a person then you know you can just as easily fall out of love with him or her.Being in love — and romantic love altogether — is mostly a result of our minds’ creation. We make, or allow, ourselves to fall in love by romanticizing the individual as well as the relationship. When you’re in love, reality doesn’t always line up with your version of it.
When you love someone, you never really stop loving that someone.
Loving a person is something that defines you — it defines the person you are. Those we love, those we care about most, those who mean the most to us, and who have affected us most in our lives, are those who never really leave us.They may remove themselves, or be removed, from our lives, but they never leave our minds. Their memory, the thought of them, makes us feel strong emotion. Their presence in our lives has had such an incredible influence on us that, because of them, we are different people.
When you love someone, you can’t stop loving that person because it would require you to stop loving a part of you yourself.
<elitedaily.com>
5 Quotes From Bill Gates That Prove You Need To Fail To Succeed
Bill Gates is the richest man in the world. At 58, he’s worth close to $80 billion. He’s an innovator, a philanthropist and an inspiration to people across the globe.
In 1975, Gates dropped out of Harvard to co-found Microsoft Corp. with Paul Allen. Twelve years later, when he was just 31 years old, he became the youngest billionaire in the world. Microsoft is now the largest software company on the planet.
A completely self-made man, Gates is a testament to the fact that unabashed optimism and improbable dreams can lead to exponential success. It also doesn’t hurt to have a touch of genius, so don’t go dropping out of school just yet.
Gates is also one of the most giving people in the world, and has donated $28 billion to philanthropic causes via the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
These quotes from Gates provide a glimpse into the mind of the mad genius who simultaneously holds the title of the wealthiest and most generous person on earth:
Success is as fleeting as life itself, it can all be taken away at a moment’s notice. Nothing is permanent. The only constant in life is change.
Remember that success might change your life, but it should never change who you are inside. Be respectful to everyone you encounter, and give back to the world around you.
We learn more from our failures than from our triumphs. Don’t let success blind you from the fact that failure was always your greatest teacher and inspiration.
We all move at a different pace, and each of us has to take our own paths in life. Sometimes we have to take the wrong path multiple times before we stumble through the woods to find the right one. Or as J.R.R. Tolkien once said, “Not all those who wander are lost.”
Embrace the randomness of your journey through this world. No one else will live the exact same life, that’s what makes all of this such a gift.
The same is true in one’s personal life. We can learn a lot from the people who are unhappy with us, particularly those who are close to us.
You’ll hear a lot of people tell you that you should never care what other people think. That’s typically good advice when it comes to strangers or acquaintances. Yet, when the people we love are upset with us, it’s probably a sign that we haven’t afforded them the proper respect.
Life is about cultivating relationships and building connections. If someone is unhappy with you, address the problem by engaging and communicating. This is good advice in business and in your personal endeavors.
Likewise, the biggest nerd at your university might end up dropping out to eventually become the most prominent man or woman in the world.
All people deserve respect because you never know where they might end up. Life is long and convoluted, with many twists and turns. Plant the seeds of kindness early on, build relationships from a young age and you will never walk alone.
All you can do is accept it. Take the good with the bad. Find balance in the universe. Remember that there is no light without darkness.
The greatest moments of your life only feel that way because they are the counterparts of your most painful experiences. Don’t actively seek out pain or failure, but recognize them as natural parts of life. We evolve through struggle.
<Elitedaily.com>
In 1975, Gates dropped out of Harvard to co-found Microsoft Corp. with Paul Allen. Twelve years later, when he was just 31 years old, he became the youngest billionaire in the world. Microsoft is now the largest software company on the planet.
A completely self-made man, Gates is a testament to the fact that unabashed optimism and improbable dreams can lead to exponential success. It also doesn’t hurt to have a touch of genius, so don’t go dropping out of school just yet.
Gates is also one of the most giving people in the world, and has donated $28 billion to philanthropic causes via the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
These quotes from Gates provide a glimpse into the mind of the mad genius who simultaneously holds the title of the wealthiest and most generous person on earth:
1. “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”
No matter how successful you might be, it’s important to stay humble. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.Success is as fleeting as life itself, it can all be taken away at a moment’s notice. Nothing is permanent. The only constant in life is change.
Remember that success might change your life, but it should never change who you are inside. Be respectful to everyone you encounter, and give back to the world around you.
We learn more from our failures than from our triumphs. Don’t let success blind you from the fact that failure was always your greatest teacher and inspiration.
2. “Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world… if you do so, you are insulting yourself.”
You are beautifully unique. Remain cognizant of that at all times. Perceptions of success are ultimately subjective. Measure your own success by how well you live up to your values, not by comparing yourself to others.We all move at a different pace, and each of us has to take our own paths in life. Sometimes we have to take the wrong path multiple times before we stumble through the woods to find the right one. Or as J.R.R. Tolkien once said, “Not all those who wander are lost.”
Embrace the randomness of your journey through this world. No one else will live the exact same life, that’s what makes all of this such a gift.
3. “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”
A business can learn a great deal from unsatisfied customers. If a lot of customers are unhappy about the same thing, it’s a definite sign that a specific change is necessary.The same is true in one’s personal life. We can learn a lot from the people who are unhappy with us, particularly those who are close to us.
You’ll hear a lot of people tell you that you should never care what other people think. That’s typically good advice when it comes to strangers or acquaintances. Yet, when the people we love are upset with us, it’s probably a sign that we haven’t afforded them the proper respect.
Life is about cultivating relationships and building connections. If someone is unhappy with you, address the problem by engaging and communicating. This is good advice in business and in your personal endeavors.
4. “Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.”
Popularity is a fickle notion that changes as we age. The biggest loser in elementary school can end up becoming prom queen or the stud of the century in high school.Likewise, the biggest nerd at your university might end up dropping out to eventually become the most prominent man or woman in the world.
All people deserve respect because you never know where they might end up. Life is long and convoluted, with many twists and turns. Plant the seeds of kindness early on, build relationships from a young age and you will never walk alone.
5. “Life is not fair — get used to it!”
Life is not all sunshine and roses. You will fail constantly. There will be struggles. Much of what happens to you will be completely out of your control. It will be frustrating, enraging and chaotic at times.All you can do is accept it. Take the good with the bad. Find balance in the universe. Remember that there is no light without darkness.
The greatest moments of your life only feel that way because they are the counterparts of your most painful experiences. Don’t actively seek out pain or failure, but recognize them as natural parts of life. We evolve through struggle.
<Elitedaily.com>
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
It’s About Trust: 20 Things Strong Couples Do Differently
Being part of a unit can be difficult.
You make decisions with someone else in mind. You have to be careful of
another person’s feelings. And you need to be conscious of also making
yourself happy.
So when we finally find that significant other who makes this all seem easy, we know we possess the foundation for something good to grow.
Strong couples are, first and foremost, strong individuals. They are secure with themselves and, therefore, can allow themselves to be vulnerable in a relationship. Once you have that special kind of acceptance from the other person, your strength is reinforced.
Solid relationships are dependent on two people’s understanding and appreciation of each other. It’s falling in love with the person who makes you smarter, better, faster, stronger… and then taking on the world together.
Here are the 20 things that strong couples would never do.
Sure, keeping your partner guessing isn’t a bad thing, but keeping your partner guessing about your level of commitment is. Jealousy breeds insecurity, and that’s not what we’re trying to do here.
Don’t say through text what you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying aloud and you won’t find yourself apologizing later.
Strong couples put forth an effort every day. They are grateful for the other person, make room for growth, and say “I love you” and mean it.
It’s possible to have more than one successful relationship in your life. Strong couples focus on the relationships they’re in, not the ones they’ve moved on from.
That means seeing the chick flick with your girlfriends or attending spin class by yourself. Your partner wants to enjoy his/her own life, and for you to do the same.
Strong couples know the other person’s weaknesses, and rather than putting their partners down for it, they don’t mind stepping in for support.
He might be horrible at keeping surprises and you might suck at organizing your schedule — but you two make it work because you’ve got each other to lean on.
Happy partners are in love with the real people in front of them.
It’s not about who bought dinner one night or who thought of the restaurant. It’s about selflessly making each other happy and getting there together.
We know you’d rather not watch us parade around in short-shorts in the same way we’d rather not hear that you’re grabbing coffee with your ex, but we’re secure enough not to hold each other back.
Sometimes, I really don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I will always be the messier person in the relationship. And then all of my dirty clothes are magically piled on top of the bed and I know what I need to do.
There needs to be a balance between thinking of yourself and thinking with someone else in mind.
For instance, the times I’m thinking of my significant other include supermarket shopping, on the gun range and kick-boxing, while I tend to dream about Beyoncé alone.
Nobody enjoys that couple that can’t be without the other person. It’s too much. It feels disingenuine. It’s just as important to keep your outside relationships as it is to maintain your romantic ones.
It should be hard to resist your partner, and even more unbearable to get on without him or her. Quality time is the best time.
The only time it’s ever cool to embarrass your significant other is by farting loudly in an otherwise silent space. True story.
Strong couples are strong because they don’t base their value on how they measure up to the outside world. They focus on themselves and know that they are good.
Harboring anger without giving your partner a chance to make it right isn’t fair to anyone.
<Elitedaily.com >
So when we finally find that significant other who makes this all seem easy, we know we possess the foundation for something good to grow.
Strong couples are, first and foremost, strong individuals. They are secure with themselves and, therefore, can allow themselves to be vulnerable in a relationship. Once you have that special kind of acceptance from the other person, your strength is reinforced.
Solid relationships are dependent on two people’s understanding and appreciation of each other. It’s falling in love with the person who makes you smarter, better, faster, stronger… and then taking on the world together.
Here are the 20 things that strong couples would never do.
1. They avoid deliberately try to make the other person jealous
When you’re in a solid relationship in which you receive enough attention and care, you don’t feel the need to additionally seek it out through low-level tactics.Sure, keeping your partner guessing isn’t a bad thing, but keeping your partner guessing about your level of commitment is. Jealousy breeds insecurity, and that’s not what we’re trying to do here.
2. They don’t go through each other’s phones
Having the urge to raid your partner’s cell phone signals to your partner that you don’t trust him or her. Once you start prying into each other’s phones, all honesty goes out the window and every text is grounds for an argument.Don’t say through text what you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying aloud and you won’t find yourself apologizing later.
3. They aren’t complacent in the relationship
Even the strongest of couples understand that relationships take work. They aren’t all holding-hands-and-kissing-in-the-moonlight dreams that we have when we’re single.Strong couples put forth an effort every day. They are grateful for the other person, make room for growth, and say “I love you” and mean it.
4. They don’t compare the relationship to their previous ones
When we compare two things, there will always be a winner and a loser. Every relationship is different, and what makes one special might not hold true for another.It’s possible to have more than one successful relationship in your life. Strong couples focus on the relationships they’re in, not the ones they’ve moved on from.
5. They don’t enter into Facebook relationship
If you actually put that much emphasis on social media to validate your relationship status, you probably aren’t mature enough to be in a real one.6. They don’t insist on being with each other all the time
Secure couples don’t need to be with one another 24/7. In fact, they don’t want to be together all the time. They know it’s important to still maintain their independence and outside interests.That means seeing the chick flick with your girlfriends or attending spin class by yourself. Your partner wants to enjoy his/her own life, and for you to do the same.
7. They avoid picking on each other’s flaws
We all have improving to do. When the playful jest turns into annoyed jabs, it’s symptomatic of a larger struggle between partners.Strong couples know the other person’s weaknesses, and rather than putting their partners down for it, they don’t mind stepping in for support.
He might be horrible at keeping surprises and you might suck at organizing your schedule — but you two make it work because you’ve got each other to lean on.
8. They aren’t trying to the make the other person something he or she is not
You fell in love with each other for a reason, not for a project. Stable couples don’t try to alter the other person’s appearance, or make her edgier or him less talkative.Happy partners are in love with the real people in front of them.
9. They would never compete with each other
There’s a difference between challenging your partner and competing with your partner. In the former, both of you emerge as better people; in the latter, someone has to lose.It’s not about who bought dinner one night or who thought of the restaurant. It’s about selflessly making each other happy and getting there together.
10. They don’t place restrictions
Restrictions are the anti-growth for relationships. So-called “rules” that prohibit each other from doing certain things will only spawn resentment.We know you’d rather not watch us parade around in short-shorts in the same way we’d rather not hear that you’re grabbing coffee with your ex, but we’re secure enough not to hold each other back.
11. They won’t sugarcoat things
You’re a strong couple because you built each other’s strength and got there together. That means always being honest with each other, even if it’s not what you want to hear.Sometimes, I really don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I will always be the messier person in the relationship. And then all of my dirty clothes are magically piled on top of the bed and I know what I need to do.
12. They never insult their partner’s family
Feeling comfortable enough to insult your partner’s family is like thinking it’s acceptable to comment on your partner’s weight. It’s really only OK when your partner does it.13. They aren’t always wondering where the other person is
Strong couples don’t need constant contact. They aren’t consumed with what the other person is doing or distrusting of his or her whereabouts.There needs to be a balance between thinking of yourself and thinking with someone else in mind.
For instance, the times I’m thinking of my significant other include supermarket shopping, on the gun range and kick-boxing, while I tend to dream about Beyoncé alone.
14. They don’t get drunk to like each other more
You can actually enjoy another person totally sober. Revolutionary, we know.15. They don’t hang out with only each other
Just because you spend every second together doesn’t mean you have a solid relationship. The ability to separate from one another actually makes your ties stronger.Nobody enjoys that couple that can’t be without the other person. It’s too much. It feels disingenuine. It’s just as important to keep your outside relationships as it is to maintain your romantic ones.
16. They never deny physical affection
The sexual component of relationships holds equal weight with the emotional stuff, too.It should be hard to resist your partner, and even more unbearable to get on without him or her. Quality time is the best time.
17. They would never publicly put the other person down
Humiliating your partner — especially in front of other people on purpose — is grounds for breaking up. There’s a way to express yourself, and there’s a way to, well, not.The only time it’s ever cool to embarrass your significant other is by farting loudly in an otherwise silent space. True story.
18. They don’t judge the relationship against other couple’s
There is no one way to love somebody. When you compare what you have with someone else’s standard, there will always be instances you come up short.Strong couples are strong because they don’t base their value on how they measure up to the outside world. They focus on themselves and know that they are good.
19. They won’t get mad without explaining why
We know from grade school drama that addressing situations passive-aggressively never works the way we want it to. Successful couples are able to speak up and not be afraid of how the other person will react.Harboring anger without giving your partner a chance to make it right isn’t fair to anyone.
20. They don’t go to bed alone
Even if you’re not physically together, you’re together in your hearts.<Elitedaily.com >
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Wife vs Girlfriend
Bagi wanita, memutuskan untuk menjalani komitmen pernikahan adalah sebuah hal besar yang diambil dalam hidup. Selepas menikah, hidup tidak akan lagi sama baginya. Akan ada nyawa-nyawa lain yang bergantung pada keputusan di tanggannya. Karena itu, hanya wanita yang siap secara mental dan fisik-lah yang berani mengambil langkah besar ini.
Apa sih yang membedakan wanita yang siap menikah dan cewek yang belum siap berkomitmen seumur hidup? Di artikel ini Hipwee akan memaparkan beberapa ciri-cirinya. Siap-siap cek ke diri sendiri sembari deg-deg an ya, cewek-cewek. Buat kamu yang cowok, cek juga yuk apakah pasanganmu sudah masuk ke kriteria “siap dinikahi” atau belum.
1. Cewek yang Siap Menikah Akan Benar-Benar Menghargai Komitmen
Kesiapan menikah ditunjukkan lewat penghargaan terhadap komitmen
Cewek yang sudah siap menikah tahu dengan pasti arti penting sebuah komitmen. Dia tidak akan main-main dengan hal yang satu ini. Setia, bertanggung jawab dan dapat dipercaya oleh pasangan adalah ciri-ciri yang dimiliki oleh cewek yang memang sudah siap menikah.
Segala kesepakatan yang sudah dibuat bersama dalam hubungan akan berusaha ditaati oleh cewek yang memang sudah siap menjadi seorang istri. Hal ini dia lakukan demi menghormati pasangan dan menjaga keharmonisan dalam sebuah ikatan. Gak ada tuh ceritanya kasus selingkuh atau ingkar janji yang dilakukan oleh cewek yang sudah layak dipinang.
2. Dia Bisa Berkompromi
Dia bisa dia diajak berkompromi
Kemampuan untuk berkompromi adalah hal mutlak yang dibutuhkan dalam sebuah pernikahan. Bagaimana tidak, sebuah ikatan pernikahan secara tidak langsung akan menyatukan 2 kepala jadi satu. Dalam prosesnya, pasti ada silang pendapat dan ketidaksepahaman yang hanya bisa diselesaikan lewat kompromi.
Cewek yang hanya layak jadi pacar akan sulit melakukan kompromi terhadap hal-hal yang bertentangan dengan keinginannya. Kalau ada yang tidak sesuai, ia akan memilih ngambek hingga pasangannya mau mengikuti kemauannya. Nah, hal macam ini tidak akan dilakukan oleh cewek yang sudah siap menikah.
Setiap ada perbedaan pendapat, cewek yang istri-able mau duduk bersama dan mendengar pendapat pasangannya. Ia juga tidak keberatan menurunkan tuntutannya demi mencapai jalan tengah yang bisa diterima kedua belah pihak.
3. Cewek yang Cocok Jadi Pacar Akan Banyak Menuntut, Sementara Cewek Istri-Able Akan Menghargai Kemampuan Pasangan
Mau cuma pakai sandal pun, kamu akan tetap diterima
Sangat wajar apabila seseorang memiliki ekspektasi terhadap pasangan romantisnya. Semua orang tentu punya gambaran ideal tentang hal apa yang dia harapkan akan didapatkan dari pasangan. Perbedaan kualitas antara wanita siap menikah dan hanya cocok jadi pacar terlihat saat pasangannya tidak bisa memenuhi ekspektasi yang dimilikinya.
Cewek yang masih punya pola pikir pacaran-minded akan berusaha menuntut pasangannya, sampai dia bisa memberikan apa yang diinginkan. Sementara cewek yang sudah siap dinikahi akan berusaha menempatkan dirinya di posisi pasangan sebelum menuntut lebih jauh.
Contohnya nih, ada seorang cowok yang tidak bisa membelikan pacarnya kamera polaroid sebagai hadiah ulang tahun karena gajinya habis untuk reparasi mobil. Cewek yang hanya cocok dijadikan pacar akan terus merengek sampai si pria membelikan hadiah yang sudah dijanjikan. Sementara wanita yang sudah siap menikah akan berusaha memahami kondisi pasangannya. Dia bisa menerima bahwa terkadang ada hal lain yang harus jadi prioritas.
4. Cewek yang Layak Diperistri Tahu Betul Bagaimana Caranya Menempatkan Diri
Dia tahu caranya menempatkan diri
Menjadi istri berarti tahu bagaimana cara menempatkan diri di sisi suami. Mulai dari cara bicara, bersikap di depan orang lain, cara berpakaian dan berdandan, hingga bagaimana membawa diri ditengah rekan dan keluarga pasangan. Kemampuan menempatkan diri ini tidak bisa datang begitu saja. Butuh kerendahan hati dan usaha keras untuk bisa menyesuaikan diri.
Cewek yang sudah siap dinikahi tidak akan keberatan saat harus repot belajar sedikit Bahasa Batak, demi mengambil hati calon mertua yang kebetulan berasal dari Medan. Dia juga bisa dengan mudah membaur dengan teman dan kolega pasangan, yang bahkan belum dikenal sebelumnya.
Dia punya kelenturan sosial yang tinggi
Dia punya kelenturan sosial yang tinggi via www.flickr.com
Cewek yang siap menikah punya kelenturan sosial yang tinggi. Dia gak bakal malu-maluin deh kalau dibawa ke berbagai kesempatan.
Sementara cewek yang orientasinya masih sekedar pacaran, akan enggan berusaha untuk masuk ke dalam lingkungan pasangan. Keengganan ini disebabkan oleh pola pikirnya yang masih memandang hubungan sebagai urusan 2 orang semata.
Cewek yang masih belum punya orientasi menikah belum menyadari bahwa penerimaan orang-orang terdekat akan membawa pengaruh besar dalam hubungan yang sedang dijalani.
5. Cewek yang Asyik Dijadikan Pacar Akan Mengumbar Masalah Ke Media Sosial, Sementara Calon Istri yang Baik Akan Berusaha Menyelesaikannya Denganmu
Masalah kalian tidak akan diumbar ke publik
Tidak ada hubungan cinta yang akan berjalan mulus-mulus saja. Setiap ikatan pacaran pasti punya konflik di dalamnya. Namun, dari permasalahan itulah sepasang kekasih bisa belajar bagaimana menyesuaikan diri dengan kekurangan dan kelebihan pasangan. Menyelesaikan masalah secara bersama-sama justru bisa jadi jalan untuk saling mengenal kepribadian.
Perbedaan perempuan yang sudah siap dan belum siap menikah terletak pada responnya saat menghadapi masalah. Cewek yang cocok dijadikan pacar akan cenderung mengumbar masalah tersebut pada banyak orang. Mulai dari curhat terselubung di media sosial sampai menceritakannya secara gamblang pada teman-temannya. Dia merasa dengan melakukan itu, pasangannya akan sadar kemudian berbuat sesuatu demi memperbaiki keadaan.
Dia berusaha menyelesaikan masalah diantara kalian berdua
Dia berusaha menyelesaikan masalah diantara kalian berdua via samleongphotography.com
Hal ini berbeda dengan cewek yang sudah istri-able. Dia sangat mengerti bahwa mengumbar masalah ke orang lain bukanlah jalan keluar yang tepat. Alih-alih mencari dukungan, dia akan mengajakmu duduk dan bicara dari hati ke hati. Cewek yang sudah siap menikah akan berusaha sekuat mungkin untuk menjaga privasi hubungan hanya dengan pasangan. Lagian, kalau cerita-cerita itu namanya mengumbar aib bukan sih?
6. Cewek yang Sudah Siap Menikah Tidak Lagi “Galau” Soal Dirinya
Dia sudah selesai melakukan pencarian terhadap diri sendiri
Setiap orang pasti punya momen galau tentang jati diri. Mulai dari jurusan apa yang harus diambil, pekerjaan apa yang paling sesuai panggilan hati, hingga mencari apa yang harus dilakukan demi menggenapkan diri. Nah, cewek yang sudah siap menikah biasanya sudah selesai dengan kegalauan-kegalauan macam ini.
Dia betul-betul telah “selesai” dengan dirinya sendiri. Cewek yang sudah siap menikah tahu dengan pasti kemana akan membawa arah hidupnya. Visi dan tujuan hidup yang ingin dicapai sudah dia miliki dengan jelas. Kehadiran pasangan tidak akan membuatnya limbung. Sebab ia akan berusaha mencari pasangan yang bisa membersamainya dalam mencapai mimpi.
7. Cewek Istri-Able Tetap Bertahan Saat Masa Sulit Menghampiri, Cewek yang Oke Dijadikan Pacar Akan Lebih Memilih Pergi
Saat menghadapi masa sulit, dia akan bertahan
Ketika dihadapkan pada momen terendah pasangan, ada perbedaan sikap yang ditunjukkan oleh cewek yang sudah siap menikah dan yang belum. Cewek yang sudah siap menikah tidak akan pergi meninggalkan pasangan meski sang pasangan sedang berada di titik terendah dalam hidup.
Dia mafhum bahwa masa sulit adalah hal yang harus dihadapi bersama dalam sebuah komitmen.
Sementara cewek yang orientasinya masih pacaran akan melihat masa sulit sebagai sebuah pintu keluar yang ditawarkan oleh hidup. Saat pasangan dilanda masalah berat yang membuatnya terpuruk, bukan tidak mungkin seorang “pacar biasa” akan pergi karena enggan terbebani.
8. Cewek yang Cuma “Pacar Biasa” Enggan Diajak Membangun Hidup Bersama, Dia yang Istri-Able Rela Berjuang Bersama dari Nol
Cewek yang istri-able akan mau diajak hidup susah
Kehidupan rumah tangga tidak serta merta bahagia. Butuh perjuangan dan kompromi besar untuk menciptakan harmoni dalam sebuah pernikahan. Akan ada banyak masalah yang datang. Mulai dari perbedaan karakter, konflik antara 2 keluarga besar, hingga masalah keuangan.
Kesulitan hidup seperti diatas tentunya tidak mengenakkan. Hanya orang dengan komitmen dan loyalitas besar yang mau diajak berjuang demi membangun kehidupan yang layak dari nol. Nah, cewek yang sudah siap menikah biasanya punya ketangguhan berjuang yang lebih besar dibanding cewek yang masih ingin sekedar pacaran.
Kesiapan menikah akan tercermin pada kemauan untuk bersama-sama mewujudkan kehidupan yang diimpikan. Apapun kesulitan yang menunggu di depan akan dihadapi oleh cewek yang memang sudah siap menikah. Hidup susah sementara waktu juga gak masalah.
9. Cewek yang Siap Menikah Tahu Caranya Bersenang-Senang, Tapi Juga Tetap Bertanggung Jawab
Dia tahu cara bersenang-senang tapi tetap bertanggung jawab
Cewek yang asyik dijadikan pacar biasanya adalah orang yang sangat menyenangkan untuk diajak gaul. Dia tahu tempat-tempat asyik yang harus dikunjungi, terkadang lengkap dengan jam operasional dan menu andalan yang ditawarkan. Tapi memang, bersenang-senang masih jadi prioritas utama bagi cewek yang orientasinya sekedar pacaran. Belum ada kewajiban sebagai orang dewasa yang dipikirkan dengan matang.
Tapi kalau begitu, apakah cewek yang siap menikah adalah orang yang membosankan?
Tentu tidak. Cewek yang siap menikah adalah pribadi yang bisa membawa dirinya sesuai kebutuhan. Dia akan kamu temukan di cafe, berpakaian santai sembari menyesap Affogato. Tapi lain hari kamu akan menemukannya berpakaian resmi dan berdandan profesional karena harus meeting dengan klien.
Dia tahu caranya bersenang-senang tapi tidak melupakan kewajibannya sebagai orang dewasa.
10. Cewek yang Sudah Siap Menikah Tahu Cara Mengurus Rumah dan Mengatur Keuangan Keluarga
Dia tahu cara mengurus rumah dan keluarga
Pembagian tugas dalam keluarga memang tidak rigid. Baik lelaki maupun perempuan perlu ambil andil dalam melakukan tugas domestik. Tapi harus diakui bahwa wanita punya “sentuhan” yang lebih dibutuhkan dalam mengurus rumah tangga. Mulai dari memilih warna perabotan, memilih parfum ruangan, hingga jadi manajer keuangan.
Cewek yang orientasinya masih pacaran biasanya belum punya kesadaran soal pentingnya belajar untuk mengatur kebutuhan domestik. Sementara cewek yang istri-able banget akan mahir mengatur rumah dan keuangan keluarga. Dia adalah pribadi yang cerdas di tempat kerja dan di tempat pendidikannya, tapi mau turun tangan untuk mengurus kebutuhan rumah tangga.
11. Cewek yang Sudah Siap Dipinang Tahu, Bantuan Terbesar yang Bisa Diberikan Pada Pasangan Adalah Doa Diam-Diam
Pasanganmu akan terus mendoakan dalam diam
Cewek yang sudah siap menjadi seorang istri tahu bahwa tugasnya bukan hanya mencukupi kebutuhan fisik pasangan. Tidak sekedar memenuhi perut dengan makanan enak dan mengatur rumah, dia juga akan membantu pasangannya sekuat tenaga dalam perjuangan mewujudkan impian.
Cewek yang sudah mempersiapkan diri untuk jadi seorang istri tahu, bahwa ada pemberian lain yang lebih layak jadi kado untuk pasangan. Apalagi jika bukan doa diam-diam?
Tanpa diminta, dia akan terus mendoakan pasangannya dalam tiap bincang mesranya dengan Tuhan. Dukungan doa darinya tidak akan pernah putus. Tanpa sepengetahuan pasangan, ada harapan yang secara konsisten terus disampaikan pada Sang Pemberi Kehidupan.
Bukankah bentuk cinta yang paling tulus memang tercermin saat seseorang terus mendoakan pasangannya dalam diam?
Apa sih yang membedakan wanita yang siap menikah dan cewek yang belum siap berkomitmen seumur hidup? Di artikel ini Hipwee akan memaparkan beberapa ciri-cirinya. Siap-siap cek ke diri sendiri sembari deg-deg an ya, cewek-cewek. Buat kamu yang cowok, cek juga yuk apakah pasanganmu sudah masuk ke kriteria “siap dinikahi” atau belum.
1. Cewek yang Siap Menikah Akan Benar-Benar Menghargai Komitmen
Kesiapan menikah ditunjukkan lewat penghargaan terhadap komitmen
Cewek yang sudah siap menikah tahu dengan pasti arti penting sebuah komitmen. Dia tidak akan main-main dengan hal yang satu ini. Setia, bertanggung jawab dan dapat dipercaya oleh pasangan adalah ciri-ciri yang dimiliki oleh cewek yang memang sudah siap menikah.
Segala kesepakatan yang sudah dibuat bersama dalam hubungan akan berusaha ditaati oleh cewek yang memang sudah siap menjadi seorang istri. Hal ini dia lakukan demi menghormati pasangan dan menjaga keharmonisan dalam sebuah ikatan. Gak ada tuh ceritanya kasus selingkuh atau ingkar janji yang dilakukan oleh cewek yang sudah layak dipinang.
2. Dia Bisa Berkompromi
Dia bisa dia diajak berkompromi
Kemampuan untuk berkompromi adalah hal mutlak yang dibutuhkan dalam sebuah pernikahan. Bagaimana tidak, sebuah ikatan pernikahan secara tidak langsung akan menyatukan 2 kepala jadi satu. Dalam prosesnya, pasti ada silang pendapat dan ketidaksepahaman yang hanya bisa diselesaikan lewat kompromi.
Cewek yang hanya layak jadi pacar akan sulit melakukan kompromi terhadap hal-hal yang bertentangan dengan keinginannya. Kalau ada yang tidak sesuai, ia akan memilih ngambek hingga pasangannya mau mengikuti kemauannya. Nah, hal macam ini tidak akan dilakukan oleh cewek yang sudah siap menikah.
Setiap ada perbedaan pendapat, cewek yang istri-able mau duduk bersama dan mendengar pendapat pasangannya. Ia juga tidak keberatan menurunkan tuntutannya demi mencapai jalan tengah yang bisa diterima kedua belah pihak.
3. Cewek yang Cocok Jadi Pacar Akan Banyak Menuntut, Sementara Cewek Istri-Able Akan Menghargai Kemampuan Pasangan
Mau cuma pakai sandal pun, kamu akan tetap diterima
Sangat wajar apabila seseorang memiliki ekspektasi terhadap pasangan romantisnya. Semua orang tentu punya gambaran ideal tentang hal apa yang dia harapkan akan didapatkan dari pasangan. Perbedaan kualitas antara wanita siap menikah dan hanya cocok jadi pacar terlihat saat pasangannya tidak bisa memenuhi ekspektasi yang dimilikinya.
Cewek yang masih punya pola pikir pacaran-minded akan berusaha menuntut pasangannya, sampai dia bisa memberikan apa yang diinginkan. Sementara cewek yang sudah siap dinikahi akan berusaha menempatkan dirinya di posisi pasangan sebelum menuntut lebih jauh.
Contohnya nih, ada seorang cowok yang tidak bisa membelikan pacarnya kamera polaroid sebagai hadiah ulang tahun karena gajinya habis untuk reparasi mobil. Cewek yang hanya cocok dijadikan pacar akan terus merengek sampai si pria membelikan hadiah yang sudah dijanjikan. Sementara wanita yang sudah siap menikah akan berusaha memahami kondisi pasangannya. Dia bisa menerima bahwa terkadang ada hal lain yang harus jadi prioritas.
4. Cewek yang Layak Diperistri Tahu Betul Bagaimana Caranya Menempatkan Diri
Dia tahu caranya menempatkan diri
Menjadi istri berarti tahu bagaimana cara menempatkan diri di sisi suami. Mulai dari cara bicara, bersikap di depan orang lain, cara berpakaian dan berdandan, hingga bagaimana membawa diri ditengah rekan dan keluarga pasangan. Kemampuan menempatkan diri ini tidak bisa datang begitu saja. Butuh kerendahan hati dan usaha keras untuk bisa menyesuaikan diri.
Cewek yang sudah siap dinikahi tidak akan keberatan saat harus repot belajar sedikit Bahasa Batak, demi mengambil hati calon mertua yang kebetulan berasal dari Medan. Dia juga bisa dengan mudah membaur dengan teman dan kolega pasangan, yang bahkan belum dikenal sebelumnya.
Dia punya kelenturan sosial yang tinggi
Dia punya kelenturan sosial yang tinggi via www.flickr.com
Cewek yang siap menikah punya kelenturan sosial yang tinggi. Dia gak bakal malu-maluin deh kalau dibawa ke berbagai kesempatan.
Sementara cewek yang orientasinya masih sekedar pacaran, akan enggan berusaha untuk masuk ke dalam lingkungan pasangan. Keengganan ini disebabkan oleh pola pikirnya yang masih memandang hubungan sebagai urusan 2 orang semata.
Cewek yang masih belum punya orientasi menikah belum menyadari bahwa penerimaan orang-orang terdekat akan membawa pengaruh besar dalam hubungan yang sedang dijalani.
5. Cewek yang Asyik Dijadikan Pacar Akan Mengumbar Masalah Ke Media Sosial, Sementara Calon Istri yang Baik Akan Berusaha Menyelesaikannya Denganmu
Masalah kalian tidak akan diumbar ke publik
Tidak ada hubungan cinta yang akan berjalan mulus-mulus saja. Setiap ikatan pacaran pasti punya konflik di dalamnya. Namun, dari permasalahan itulah sepasang kekasih bisa belajar bagaimana menyesuaikan diri dengan kekurangan dan kelebihan pasangan. Menyelesaikan masalah secara bersama-sama justru bisa jadi jalan untuk saling mengenal kepribadian.
Perbedaan perempuan yang sudah siap dan belum siap menikah terletak pada responnya saat menghadapi masalah. Cewek yang cocok dijadikan pacar akan cenderung mengumbar masalah tersebut pada banyak orang. Mulai dari curhat terselubung di media sosial sampai menceritakannya secara gamblang pada teman-temannya. Dia merasa dengan melakukan itu, pasangannya akan sadar kemudian berbuat sesuatu demi memperbaiki keadaan.
Dia berusaha menyelesaikan masalah diantara kalian berdua
Dia berusaha menyelesaikan masalah diantara kalian berdua via samleongphotography.com
Hal ini berbeda dengan cewek yang sudah istri-able. Dia sangat mengerti bahwa mengumbar masalah ke orang lain bukanlah jalan keluar yang tepat. Alih-alih mencari dukungan, dia akan mengajakmu duduk dan bicara dari hati ke hati. Cewek yang sudah siap menikah akan berusaha sekuat mungkin untuk menjaga privasi hubungan hanya dengan pasangan. Lagian, kalau cerita-cerita itu namanya mengumbar aib bukan sih?
6. Cewek yang Sudah Siap Menikah Tidak Lagi “Galau” Soal Dirinya
Dia sudah selesai melakukan pencarian terhadap diri sendiri
Setiap orang pasti punya momen galau tentang jati diri. Mulai dari jurusan apa yang harus diambil, pekerjaan apa yang paling sesuai panggilan hati, hingga mencari apa yang harus dilakukan demi menggenapkan diri. Nah, cewek yang sudah siap menikah biasanya sudah selesai dengan kegalauan-kegalauan macam ini.
Dia betul-betul telah “selesai” dengan dirinya sendiri. Cewek yang sudah siap menikah tahu dengan pasti kemana akan membawa arah hidupnya. Visi dan tujuan hidup yang ingin dicapai sudah dia miliki dengan jelas. Kehadiran pasangan tidak akan membuatnya limbung. Sebab ia akan berusaha mencari pasangan yang bisa membersamainya dalam mencapai mimpi.
7. Cewek Istri-Able Tetap Bertahan Saat Masa Sulit Menghampiri, Cewek yang Oke Dijadikan Pacar Akan Lebih Memilih Pergi
Saat menghadapi masa sulit, dia akan bertahan
Ketika dihadapkan pada momen terendah pasangan, ada perbedaan sikap yang ditunjukkan oleh cewek yang sudah siap menikah dan yang belum. Cewek yang sudah siap menikah tidak akan pergi meninggalkan pasangan meski sang pasangan sedang berada di titik terendah dalam hidup.
Dia mafhum bahwa masa sulit adalah hal yang harus dihadapi bersama dalam sebuah komitmen.
Sementara cewek yang orientasinya masih pacaran akan melihat masa sulit sebagai sebuah pintu keluar yang ditawarkan oleh hidup. Saat pasangan dilanda masalah berat yang membuatnya terpuruk, bukan tidak mungkin seorang “pacar biasa” akan pergi karena enggan terbebani.
8. Cewek yang Cuma “Pacar Biasa” Enggan Diajak Membangun Hidup Bersama, Dia yang Istri-Able Rela Berjuang Bersama dari Nol
Cewek yang istri-able akan mau diajak hidup susah
Kehidupan rumah tangga tidak serta merta bahagia. Butuh perjuangan dan kompromi besar untuk menciptakan harmoni dalam sebuah pernikahan. Akan ada banyak masalah yang datang. Mulai dari perbedaan karakter, konflik antara 2 keluarga besar, hingga masalah keuangan.
Kesulitan hidup seperti diatas tentunya tidak mengenakkan. Hanya orang dengan komitmen dan loyalitas besar yang mau diajak berjuang demi membangun kehidupan yang layak dari nol. Nah, cewek yang sudah siap menikah biasanya punya ketangguhan berjuang yang lebih besar dibanding cewek yang masih ingin sekedar pacaran.
Kesiapan menikah akan tercermin pada kemauan untuk bersama-sama mewujudkan kehidupan yang diimpikan. Apapun kesulitan yang menunggu di depan akan dihadapi oleh cewek yang memang sudah siap menikah. Hidup susah sementara waktu juga gak masalah.
9. Cewek yang Siap Menikah Tahu Caranya Bersenang-Senang, Tapi Juga Tetap Bertanggung Jawab
Dia tahu cara bersenang-senang tapi tetap bertanggung jawab
Cewek yang asyik dijadikan pacar biasanya adalah orang yang sangat menyenangkan untuk diajak gaul. Dia tahu tempat-tempat asyik yang harus dikunjungi, terkadang lengkap dengan jam operasional dan menu andalan yang ditawarkan. Tapi memang, bersenang-senang masih jadi prioritas utama bagi cewek yang orientasinya sekedar pacaran. Belum ada kewajiban sebagai orang dewasa yang dipikirkan dengan matang.
Tapi kalau begitu, apakah cewek yang siap menikah adalah orang yang membosankan?
Tentu tidak. Cewek yang siap menikah adalah pribadi yang bisa membawa dirinya sesuai kebutuhan. Dia akan kamu temukan di cafe, berpakaian santai sembari menyesap Affogato. Tapi lain hari kamu akan menemukannya berpakaian resmi dan berdandan profesional karena harus meeting dengan klien.
Dia tahu caranya bersenang-senang tapi tidak melupakan kewajibannya sebagai orang dewasa.
10. Cewek yang Sudah Siap Menikah Tahu Cara Mengurus Rumah dan Mengatur Keuangan Keluarga
Dia tahu cara mengurus rumah dan keluarga
Pembagian tugas dalam keluarga memang tidak rigid. Baik lelaki maupun perempuan perlu ambil andil dalam melakukan tugas domestik. Tapi harus diakui bahwa wanita punya “sentuhan” yang lebih dibutuhkan dalam mengurus rumah tangga. Mulai dari memilih warna perabotan, memilih parfum ruangan, hingga jadi manajer keuangan.
Cewek yang orientasinya masih pacaran biasanya belum punya kesadaran soal pentingnya belajar untuk mengatur kebutuhan domestik. Sementara cewek yang istri-able banget akan mahir mengatur rumah dan keuangan keluarga. Dia adalah pribadi yang cerdas di tempat kerja dan di tempat pendidikannya, tapi mau turun tangan untuk mengurus kebutuhan rumah tangga.
11. Cewek yang Sudah Siap Dipinang Tahu, Bantuan Terbesar yang Bisa Diberikan Pada Pasangan Adalah Doa Diam-Diam
Pasanganmu akan terus mendoakan dalam diam
Cewek yang sudah siap menjadi seorang istri tahu bahwa tugasnya bukan hanya mencukupi kebutuhan fisik pasangan. Tidak sekedar memenuhi perut dengan makanan enak dan mengatur rumah, dia juga akan membantu pasangannya sekuat tenaga dalam perjuangan mewujudkan impian.
Cewek yang sudah mempersiapkan diri untuk jadi seorang istri tahu, bahwa ada pemberian lain yang lebih layak jadi kado untuk pasangan. Apalagi jika bukan doa diam-diam?
Tanpa diminta, dia akan terus mendoakan pasangannya dalam tiap bincang mesranya dengan Tuhan. Dukungan doa darinya tidak akan pernah putus. Tanpa sepengetahuan pasangan, ada harapan yang secara konsisten terus disampaikan pada Sang Pemberi Kehidupan.
Bukankah bentuk cinta yang paling tulus memang tercermin saat seseorang terus mendoakan pasangannya dalam diam?
Become a Happy Person
Kalau disuruh memilih, semua orang pasti akan mau jadi bahagia. Bahkan, ada beberapa yang menjadikan bahagia tujuan dari hidupnya. Tapi, apakah kita sudah benar-benar mengerti bagaimana caranya menjadi bahagia?
1. Membandingkan Keberhasilan Orang Lain dengan Prestasi Diri Sendiri
Kepo
Jalan hidup dua orang bisa saling beririsan, namun tujuan akhir mereka tetap berbeda-beda. Misalnya, kamu dan sahabatmu bisa saja sama-sama kuliah Kedokteran. Sementara kamu menikah lebih dulu dan membuka praktik di kota tempat suamimu bekerja, dia diterima di Médecins Sans Frontier (Doctors Without Borders) dan ditugaskan menghalau malaria di Afrika.
Kamu tidak akan bahagia jika membanding-bandingkan dirimu yang sekarang dengan sahabatmu yang bisa keliling dunia. Setiap orang punya “prestasinya” sendiri-sendiri. Ketika temanmu bisa menolong pemberantasan epidemi di Kenya, kamu bisa menjadi istri yang baik untuk suamimu, serta ibu yang siap bagi calon anakmu. Kamu bukanlah orang yang menyedihkan hanya karena belum pernah pergi ke Afrika.
Orang yang bahagia mengetahui cara mengejar impian sendiri. Tidak ada gunanya membanding-bandingkan cara-cara yang berbeda ini.
2. Mencari pengakuan dari orang lain
Steve Job aja nggak peduli apa kata orang
Setiap orang ingin dihormati dan diakui keberadaannya. Namun bagi orang yang bahagia, pengakuan dari orang lain itu tak selalu jadi hal utama.
Faktanya, tidak ada orang yang akan benar-benar mengerti betapa susahnya menjadi kita. Tidak ada yang tahu usahamu begadang berhari-hari untuk menyelesaikan skripsi. Yang bisa orang tua atau teman-temanmu lihat hanyalah hasil akhirnya: nilai A, A-, B, atau ujian ulang. Tidak ada yang tahu kalau kamu sering mati-matian belajar untuk lulus UAN. Yang orang tahu hanyalah apakah kamu berhasil melewatinya, atau harus kejar paket C.
Karena tidak ada yang bisa melihat perjuanganmu secara utuh, tidak ada juga yang bisa mengakuimu secara sempurna. Karena itu, adalah hal yang absurd untuk menuntut orang lain memberikanmu pengakuan. Untuk bertahan, yang paling penting bukanlah pengakuan orang. Resepnya adalah percaya bahwa duniamu dan dunia orang lain bisa lebih baik berkat apa yang kamu usahakan.
3. Menggantungkan kebahagiaan pada orang lain
Terlalu cinta
Bagi orang bahagia, kebahagiaan bisa ditemukan di mana saja. Kamu tidak harus punya orang yang menemani untuk menikmati hidup. Kamu bisa saja punya sahabat atau pacar, tapi dengan diri sendiri pun kamu akan nyaman.
Ketika kamu tidak menggantungkan kebahagiaanmu pada orang lain, kamu tidak akan lantas jadi hancur ketika mereka berbuat hal yang tak mengenakkan padamu. Salah paham dengan sahabat sampai diam-diaman? Putus dari pacar? Kamu bisa tetap tenang — tidak lantas jadi nelangsa dan berpikir bahwa hidupmu sudah habis.
Prinsip ini penting, karena tiap orang pasti akan melakukan kesalahan. Mereka yang berharga pasti akan melakukan hal yang membuatmu kecewa. Ketika kamu tidak menggantungkan kebahagiaanmu pada perkataan dan perbuatan mereka, kamu bisa lebih mudah untuk legawa. Dan sikap legawa? Itu salah satu kunci bahagia.
4. Menyimpan penyesalan atas apa yang sudah terjadi
Kamu kini tahu apa yang harus kamu percayai
Setiap orang punya masalahnya sendiri-sendiri. Kamu pun begitu. Mungkin, kamu menyesal setelah putus dari pacarmu. Kamu tidak tahu caranya move on, sementara dia mungkin sudah punya pacar baru (dan mungkin tidak cuma satu, tapi dua). Ketidakbahagiaanmu dalam hubungan pribadi lalu menular ke sisi-sisi hidupmu yang lain, termasuk sisi akademik dan profesional.
Kalau kamu orang yang bahagia, kamu bisa menyadari bahwa tiap orang melakukan kesalahan. Kamu menyadari bahwa kamu salah telah meninggalkan pacarmu dan hubungan kalian. Kamu menyadari bahwa kamu telah menyakitinya, dan dia lebih berharga dari apa yang kamu kira.
Lalu kamu akan memaafkan dirimu sendiri. Tentu saja ini lebih mudah ditulis daripada dilakukan. Proses ini bisa memakan waktu bertahun-tahun, atau berbulan-bulan.
Orang bahagia bukannya tidak tahu bahwa proses memaafkan ini butuh waktu lama. Mereka hanya akan berusaha supaya proses itu tak berlangsung selamanya.
5. Menghabiskan waktu di lingkungan yang negatif
Hindari gosip
Kamu mendapat teman baru di ospek kampus, dan kalian langsung cocok. Tapi, lama kelamaan kamu mulai merasa terganggu dengan sifatnya yang selalu membicarakan orang lain di belakang. Kamu mulai merasa bersalah ketika kamu tidak ikut-ikutan dia membicarakan orang lain. Kamu pun mulai ikut-ikutan menusuk orang dari belakang. Pada akhirnya, kamu merasa dirimu sampah.
Kalau kamu orang bahagia, kamu akan bisa mendeteksi mana yang merupakan pengaruh negatif bagi hidupmu. Tak hanya itu, kamu akan cukup kuat untuk mundur perlahan dan keluar. Kalau kamu terus berada di lingkungan tersebut, kamu akan semakin tertekan.
Carilah lingkungan yang positif buatmu. Temukan hal baru yang akan membuatmu senang. Ingatlah, orang bahagia pasti dikelilingi orang-orang yang bahagia juga.
6. Membohongi diri sendiri dan orang lain
berhenti membohongi diri sendiri
Orang yang bahagia bukan orang yang dibuai dongeng. Mereka tidak hidup di alam imajinasi dan delusi. Kunci dari bahagia bukanlah meyakinkan diri bahwa semua yang terjadi di dunia ini adalah hal yang baik. Kunci dari bahagia adalah menerima bahwa tak selamanya hidup ini baik-baik saja.
Orang yang bahagia akan selalu jujur pada dirinya sendiri, serta pada orang lain. Dia tahu apa yang sebenarnya dia mau, dan sampai mana dia harus bersabar dan menerima. Ketika orang lain di sekitarnya berlaku kelewatan, dengan tegas dia bisa membela hak-haknya.
Kejujuran pada diri sendiri dan orang lain penting untuk menjaga jati dirimu. Tanpa jati diri yang terjaga, hidupmu tak akan jelas juntrungannya.
Kalau kamu bahagia dengan hidupmu, kamu akan menemukan hal-hal baru yang membuat hidup semakin berwarna. Dan kalau kamu bahagia, kamu pasti tidak akan melakukan hal-hal di atas. Iya, ‘kan? :)
Monday, August 11, 2014
11 Qualities I Want In A Boyfriend That I Learned From The First Love of My Life, My Dad
#repost
My dad is the greatest man I have ever known. I don’t think there are too many girls out there who can say that. He’s been my greatest advocate when I’ve needed support, had my best interest in mind and never failed to help me mend a broken heart.
My daddy has every characteristic a girl should look for when seeking out a partner. He’s the kind of man who will insist we make a detour on the way home from the movies because he wants to bring my mom her favorite specialty candy.
He’s the kind of man who wants to watch old movies with me a million times. He’s the kind of man who will do my taxes because I’m too inept to figure them out myself. I hope the man I end up with shares many qualities with my father.
Here are 11 lessons about men that I learned from the best man I know:
I want someone who will sing and dance to the Spice Girls with me and someone who will support me in everything I that I do; someone who will challenge me and always be my biggest cheerleader.
A man who loves children is a man with a pure heart and an infinite amount of compassion. Watch how a man is with children and that’s how you’ll be able to tell if he could potentially be a worthy father for your own someday.
I want to marry a man who isn’t afraid to show his emotions, hold my hand and treat me with genuine understanding and kindness. They say that the nice guys always finish last; well, the nice guy will always end up stealing my heart.
He also seemed to know everything about history, science and math. He is the smartest man I have ever met and I still learn new things from him every day. Intelligence is one of the first things I look for in a man.
It’s a look that communicates that he has no idea how on earth he ended up such an amazing woman and is constantly thankful for his good fortune. I hope my man will look at me in the same way.
You should want a partner, but you should also want someone who wants you and loves to take care of you, as well; someone who will bring you chicken soup when you’re sick and hold your hand when your dog dies. Likewise, you should always be willing to offer that same level of care and support for him.
Of course, love is always a risk and a leap of faith, but when you find the love that you want to last forever, it should be with someone who will unabashedly adore you.
If you think he has messed up, tell him. The man I’m going to love won’t be afraid or too proud to apologize for hurting me, and he will try everything he can to make me happy again.
My father is always surprising my mother with special date nights, flowers and kisses (which gross me out, but are still adorable). I’m going to love a man who keeps me guessing; who loves what we have together so much that he’s always thinking of little things to keep me on my toes.
A girl should want a man who is always asking questions about the world around him; a man who is constantly challenging himself and trying to improve himself. A man worth marrying is never stationary for very long.
The man who will win me over will think of me as my dad always thinks about my mom.
elitedaily.com
My dad is the greatest man I have ever known. I don’t think there are too many girls out there who can say that. He’s been my greatest advocate when I’ve needed support, had my best interest in mind and never failed to help me mend a broken heart.
My daddy has every characteristic a girl should look for when seeking out a partner. He’s the kind of man who will insist we make a detour on the way home from the movies because he wants to bring my mom her favorite specialty candy.
He’s the kind of man who wants to watch old movies with me a million times. He’s the kind of man who will do my taxes because I’m too inept to figure them out myself. I hope the man I end up with shares many qualities with my father.
Here are 11 lessons about men that I learned from the best man I know:
1. Never settle
My dad taught me that settling is not an option. His kindness, generosity and understanding heart have always been qualities that I admire and adore. I could never settle for some Jo Schmo who specializes in the mundane and has a Ph.D. in boring.I want someone who will sing and dance to the Spice Girls with me and someone who will support me in everything I that I do; someone who will challenge me and always be my biggest cheerleader.
2. Marry a man who loves children
My dad can cradle a little bundle of joy to sleep in a matter of minutes while cooing love songs. I want to marry a man who loves to play with our kids, who wants to take them to the park and who wants to build them awesome rocketship beds.A man who loves children is a man with a pure heart and an infinite amount of compassion. Watch how a man is with children and that’s how you’ll be able to tell if he could potentially be a worthy father for your own someday.
3. Don’t date that hot assh*le
That “bad boy” might be a good kisser and his awesome tattoos might make him alluring, but truthfully, it’s the nice ones who deserve your time. The nice ones are the ones who will bring you chicken nuggets when you’re hungover at work and pick you up when you’re drunk and lost at 3 am.I want to marry a man who isn’t afraid to show his emotions, hold my hand and treat me with genuine understanding and kindness. They say that the nice guys always finish last; well, the nice guy will always end up stealing my heart.
4. Intelligence is the sexiest trait a guy can have
My dad is extremely well read and knowledgeable. My mother used to call him “Dr. Daddy” because of the precision and care in which he fixed my cuts and scrapes. I remember thinking he was a real doctor because he seemed to know so much about medicine.He also seemed to know everything about history, science and math. He is the smartest man I have ever met and I still learn new things from him every day. Intelligence is one of the first things I look for in a man.
5. I deserve to be worshipped
I deserve to be with a man who adores me and who is in awe of me. I want to be with a man who wakes up next to me every morning and thinks, “Wow, I am the luckiest guy in the world.” I’ve never seen anyone look at his wife the way that my father looks at my mom.It’s a look that communicates that he has no idea how on earth he ended up such an amazing woman and is constantly thankful for his good fortune. I hope my man will look at me in the same way.
6. Only date readers
If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have a lot of books, don’t f*ck ‘em. – John WatersYou shouldn’t, indeed! If there’s anything that my father’s endless books and thirst for literature have taught me, it’s that books contain the magic of other worlds. When I fall in love, it will be with a man who loves to read as much as I do.
7. Marry someone who wants a partner
You should want a person who wants to be your equal and who wants just as much out of life as you do. You should want a man who supports your dreams and encourages you to pursue your greatest desires.You should want a partner, but you should also want someone who wants you and loves to take care of you, as well; someone who will bring you chicken soup when you’re sick and hold your hand when your dog dies. Likewise, you should always be willing to offer that same level of care and support for him.
8. Only give your heart to someone who will treasure it
The heart is a delicate, complicated entity and it is easily broken. Only give it to someone who will handle it with care. We may pretend to be strong, but we girls have fragile hearts that need tender loving.Of course, love is always a risk and a leap of faith, but when you find the love that you want to last forever, it should be with someone who will unabashedly adore you.
9. Never be afraid to stand your ground in an argument
You should never feel like you are not able to speak your mind in a relationship. If he’s done something that makes you angry or said something to hurt your feelings, don’t be afraid to tell him. Relationships are about communication and without it, they fall apart.If you think he has messed up, tell him. The man I’m going to love won’t be afraid or too proud to apologize for hurting me, and he will try everything he can to make me happy again.
10. Fall in love with someone who surprises you
Life is too short for the unexciting. Sure, you’ll fall into a routine. Go to work, come home, have dinner, (have sex?) and go to bed. But, don’t let the excitement die because of the repetition. If you get bored, you will lose that spark.My father is always surprising my mother with special date nights, flowers and kisses (which gross me out, but are still adorable). I’m going to love a man who keeps me guessing; who loves what we have together so much that he’s always thinking of little things to keep me on my toes.
A girl should want a man who is always asking questions about the world around him; a man who is constantly challenging himself and trying to improve himself. A man worth marrying is never stationary for very long.
11. When he does thoughtful things for you, take note.
Don’t let the sweet things a man does for you go unnoticed. I will appreciate that single rose left on the kitchen table for me when I get home because it’s the little things that count. It’s the little things that are important.The man who will win me over will think of me as my dad always thinks about my mom.
elitedaily.com
Monday, July 7, 2014
10 Signs Your Partner Is The Best Friend You Have In This World
For a relationship to really work, the people involved have to be more than just partners or lovers – they have to be best friends.
Best friends have a special sort of relationship. They have a relationship that is more understanding, more lenient and more flexible than most.
Best friends have a deep care and respect for each other, yet they understand – unlike many of those within a relationship – that they do not own the other.
Most relationships fail, and they do so because the people never see each other as true equals, but rather as possessions, as means to an end.
If you want to know what chances you and your lover have of lasting together, then all you have to figure out is whether or not he or she is your best friend. If your partner isn’t, then ask yourself why not.
Here are 10 signs to help you figure things out:
1. Your partner is the one you go to with all your problems.
The fact is that you trust your partner more than anybody else in the world and feel comfortable enough to share all the things that have been bothering you. When you have a bad day, you go to your partner. When you’re having trouble with something you’re working on, you go to your partner.
When someone treats you badly, cheats you, screws you over or disrespects you, you go to your partner. This person is your safety blanket.
2. You have more fun with your partner than with any of your other friends (sex aside).
Our best friends are the people we enjoy spending time with the most. They are the people whom we instinctively float towards.
We don’t so much plan on hanging out with them as we already know that we will be – because we always have fun. If your partner is the person who entertains you more than anyone else, then your partner is also your best friend.
3. You don’t feel the need to hang out solely with your partner, but you prefer it when he or she is around.
We all spend time with our partners – usually more than with friends. However, when you begin to feel that you’d prefer it if your partner were to hang out, even if part of a larger group, then it’s a good sign that this person isn’t just your partner and lover, but also your best friend.
You may have no problem hanging out without him or her, but in the back of your mind, you know that you’d have more fun if your partner would join the festivities.
4. The two of you have more inside jokes than you can count.
If you can look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking, if you burst out laughing at things that no one else understands, if you have self-created phrases and words that no one else is privy to, then you’ve found yourself a lover and best friend.
5. You share many of the same hobbies.
Best buds get along as well as they do because they have so much in common. They say that opposites attract, but not so much when it comes to best friends.
Best friends are best friends because they relate on so many different levels. They share likes, dislikes, hobbies and habits.
6. You have debates on just about anything you can think of.
Although the two of you may share many of the same hobbies, you most likely don’t share many of the same opinions. Best friends are best friends because they have a lot to talk about – or argue about.
7. You don’t fight too often, but when you do, neither of you take it to heart.
Friends argue. Best friends argue and never take it personally. Best friends allow things to roll off their backs because they know how important each is to the other.
They don’t get mad over the little things because they know how hard it is to find someone whom they care about so much. Many relationships fail because they are incapable of just this.
8. The two of you are more than comfortable doing just about nothing together.
You love doing things together, but don’t always need to be doing something in order to enjoy each other’s company. You’re fine with simply “chilling.” You can go for walks. Talk. Eat. Drink. Or just sit and reminisce.
It’s really all about comfort. Your best friend is the person you are most comfortable around – the person you know is never judging you.
9. Your partner is the one you go to for advice. Best friends are incredibly important because they help us get through life unscathed.
They help guide us and help us make wiser decisions. It can be difficult to make an objective decision. Our closest friend is one of the only individuals who we may trust to give us advice on life’s most crucial decisions.
Your partner knows you as well as you know yourself – you trust this person to make the right decisions for you.
10. You laugh and smile more with your partner than with anyone else.
If your partner makes you happier than any other person in your life then he or she may very well be your best friend. It’s really all about love – not just the romantic kind.
If you love your partner in all the ways a person could possible love another person, then your partner is just as much your best friend as he or she is your lover. To feel this kind of love is to experience true love – the deepest and purest of all loves.
(elitedaily.com)
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