11 Qualities I Want In A Boyfriend That I Learned From The First Love of My Life, My Dad

#repost

My dad is the greatest man I have ever known. I don’t think there are too many girls out there who can say that. He’s been my greatest advocate when I’ve needed support, had my best interest in mind and never failed to help me mend a broken heart.
My daddy has every characteristic a girl should look for when seeking out a partner. He’s the kind of man who will insist we make a detour on the way home from the movies because he wants to bring my mom her favorite specialty candy.
He’s the kind of man who wants to watch old movies with me a million times. He’s the kind of man who will do my taxes because I’m too inept to figure them out myself. I hope the man I end up with shares many qualities with my father.
Here are 11 lessons about men that I learned from the best man I know:

1. Never settle

My dad taught me that settling is not an option. His kindness, generosity and understanding heart have always been qualities that I admire and adore. I could never settle for some Jo Schmo who specializes in the mundane and has a Ph.D. in boring.
I want someone who will sing and dance to the Spice Girls with me and someone who will support me in everything I that I do; someone who will challenge me and always be my biggest cheerleader.

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2. Marry a man who loves children

My dad can cradle a little bundle of joy to sleep in a matter of minutes while cooing love songs. I want to marry a man who loves to play with our kids, who wants to take them to the park and who wants to build them awesome rocketship beds.
A man who loves children is a man with a pure heart and an infinite amount of compassion. Watch how a man is with children and that’s how you’ll be able to tell if he could potentially be a worthy father for your own someday.

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3. Don’t date that hot assh*le

That “bad boy” might be a good kisser and his awesome tattoos might make him alluring, but truthfully, it’s the nice ones who deserve your time. The nice ones are the ones who will bring you chicken nuggets when you’re hungover at work and pick you up when you’re drunk and lost at 3 am.
I want to marry a man who isn’t afraid to show his emotions, hold my hand and treat me with genuine understanding and kindness. They say that the nice guys always finish last; well, the nice guy will always end up stealing my heart.

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4. Intelligence is the sexiest trait a guy can have

My dad is extremely well read and knowledgeable. My mother used to call him “Dr. Daddy” because of the precision and care in which he fixed my cuts and scrapes. I remember thinking he was a real doctor because he seemed to know so much about medicine.
He also seemed to know everything about history, science and math. He is the smartest man I have ever met and I still learn new things from him every day. Intelligence is one of the first things I look for in a man.

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5. I deserve to be worshipped

I deserve to be with a man who adores me and who is in awe of me. I want to be with a man who wakes up next to me every morning and thinks, “Wow, I am the luckiest guy in the world.” I’ve never seen anyone look at his wife the way that my father looks at my mom.
It’s a look that communicates that he has no idea how on earth he ended up such an amazing woman and is constantly thankful for his good fortune. I hope my man will look at me in the same way.

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6. Only date readers

If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have a lot of books, don’t f*ck ‘em. – John Waters

You shouldn’t, indeed! If there’s anything that my father’s endless books and thirst for literature have taught me, it’s that books contain the magic of other worlds. When I fall in love, it will be with a man who loves to read as much as I do.

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7. Marry someone who wants a partner

You should want a person who wants to be your equal and who wants just as much out of life as you do. You should want a man who supports your dreams and encourages you to pursue your greatest desires.
You should want a partner, but you should also want someone who wants you and loves to take care of you, as well; someone who will bring you chicken soup when you’re sick and hold your hand when your dog dies. Likewise, you should always be willing to offer that same level of care and support for him.

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8. Only give your heart to someone who will treasure it

The heart is a delicate, complicated entity and it is easily broken. Only give it to someone who will handle it with care. We may pretend to be strong, but we girls have fragile hearts that need tender loving.
Of course, love is always a risk and a leap of faith, but when you find the love that you want to last forever, it should be with someone who will unabashedly adore you.

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9. Never be afraid to stand your ground in an argument

You should never feel like you are not able to speak your mind in a relationship. If he’s done something that makes you angry or said something to hurt your feelings, don’t be afraid to tell him. Relationships are about communication and without it, they fall apart.
If you think he has messed up, tell him. The man I’m going to love won’t be afraid or too proud to apologize for hurting me, and he will try everything he can to make me happy again.

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10. Fall in love with someone who surprises you

Life is too short for the unexciting. Sure, you’ll fall into a routine. Go to work, come home, have dinner, (have sex?) and go to bed. But, don’t let the excitement die because of the repetition. If you get bored, you will lose that spark.
My father is always surprising my mother with special date nights, flowers and kisses (which gross me out, but are still adorable). I’m going to love a man who keeps me guessing; who loves what we have together so much that he’s always thinking of little things to keep me on my toes.
A girl should want a man who is always asking questions about the world around him; a man who is constantly challenging himself and trying to improve himself. A man worth marrying is never stationary for very long.

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11. When he does thoughtful things for you, take note.

Don’t let the sweet things a man does for you go unnoticed. I will appreciate that single rose left on the kitchen table for me when I get home because it’s the little things that count. It’s the little things that are important.
The man who will win me over will think of me as my dad always thinks about my mom.

elitedaily.com

10 Signs Your Partner Is The Best Friend You Have In This World

For a relationship to really work, the people involved have to be more than just partners or lovers – they have to be best friends.

Best friends have a special sort of relationship. They have a relationship that is more understanding, more lenient and more flexible than most.

Best friends have a deep care and respect for each other, yet they understand – unlike many of those within a relationship – that they do not own the other.

Most relationships fail, and they do so because the people never see each other as true equals, but rather as possessions, as means to an end.

If you want to know what chances you and your lover have of lasting together, then all you have to figure out is whether or not he or she is your best friend. If your partner isn’t, then ask yourself why not.

Here are 10 signs to help you figure things out:

1. Your partner is the one you go to with all your problems.

The fact is that you trust your partner more than anybody else in the world and feel comfortable enough to share all the things that have been bothering you. When you have a bad day, you go to your partner. When you’re having trouble with something you’re working on, you go to your partner.

When someone treats you badly, cheats you, screws you over or disrespects you, you go to your partner. This person is your safety blanket.

2. You have more fun with your partner than with any of your other friends (sex aside).

Our best friends are the people we enjoy spending time with the most. They are the people whom we instinctively float towards.

We don’t so much plan on hanging out with them as we already know that we will be – because we always have fun. If your partner is the person who entertains you more than anyone else, then your partner is also your best friend.

3. You don’t feel the need to hang out solely with your partner, but you prefer it when he or she is around.

We all spend time with our partners – usually more than with friends. However, when you begin to feel that you’d prefer it if your partner were to hang out, even if part of a larger group, then it’s a good sign that this person isn’t just your partner and lover, but also your best friend.

You may have no problem hanging out without him or her, but in the back of your mind, you know that you’d have more fun if your partner would join the festivities.

4. The two of you have more inside jokes than you can count.

If you can look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking, if you burst out laughing at things that no one else understands, if you have self-created phrases and words that no one else is privy to, then you’ve found yourself a lover and best friend.

5. You share many of the same hobbies.

Best buds get along as well as they do because they have so much in common. They say that opposites attract, but not so much when it comes to best friends.

Best friends are best friends because they relate on so many different levels. They share likes, dislikes, hobbies and habits.

6. You have debates on just about anything you can think of.

Although the two of you may share many of the same hobbies, you most likely don’t share many of the same opinions. Best friends are best friends because they have a lot to talk about – or argue about.

7. You don’t fight too often, but when you do, neither of you take it to heart.

Friends argue. Best friends argue and never take it personally. Best friends allow things to roll off their backs because they know how important each is to the other.

They don’t get mad over the little things because they know how hard it is to find someone whom they care about so much. Many relationships fail because they are incapable of just this.

8. The two of you are more than comfortable doing just about nothing together.

You love doing things together, but don’t always need to be doing something in order to enjoy each other’s company. You’re fine with simply “chilling.” You can go for walks. Talk. Eat. Drink. Or just sit and reminisce.

It’s really all about comfort. Your best friend is the person you are most comfortable around – the person you know is never judging you.

9. Your partner is the one you go to for advice. Best friends are incredibly important because they help us get through life unscathed.

They help guide us and help us make wiser decisions. It can be difficult to make an objective decision. Our closest friend is one of the only individuals who we may trust to give us advice on life’s most crucial decisions.

Your partner knows you as well as you know yourself – you trust this person to make the right decisions for you.

10. You laugh and smile more with your partner than with anyone else.

If your partner makes you happier than any other person in your life then he or she may very well be your best friend. It’s really all about love – not just the romantic kind.

If you love your partner in all the ways a person could possible love another person, then your partner is just as much your best friend as he or she is your lover. To feel this kind of love is to experience true love – the deepest and purest of all loves.

(elitedaily.com)

Bahasa Tubuh yang Bikin Karir Kian Cemerlang

1. Berdiri tegap dan angkat wajah Anda sedikit
Kekuatan, status dan kepercayaan diri dapat terlihat dari cara Anda berdiri. Tegakkan badan, bahu, dan kepala Anda akan membuat diri Anda terlihat percaya diri.
Saat berdiri, Anda akan terlihat lebih meyakinkan dibanding mereka yang berdiri. Dengan posisi tubuh seperti itu, bahkan saat Anda duduk, Anda tetap terlihat lebih percaya diri daripada yang lain.


2. Lebarkan kaki Anda
Saat Anda berdiri dengan kaki rapat, semua yang Anda bicarakan akan terdengar meragukan. Namun saat Anda melebarkan sedikit kaki Anda, melemaskan lutut, maka Anda akan terlihat lebih mantap dan percaya diri.



3. Rendahkan tekanan suara Anda
Di tempat kerja, kualitas suara Anda dapat menjadi faktor kunci bagaimana orang lain menilai Anda. Para pembicara dengan nada tinggi dinilai kurang empati, kurang kuat dan lebih gugup dibanding pembicara dengan tekanan suara lebih rendah.
Berbicara dengan nada suara tenang juga akan membuat pendapat Anda terdengar penting untuk didengarkan.


4. Lakukan kontak mata yang positif
Tak sedikit orang yang pemalu, tertutup atau datang dari latar belakang yang secara budaya jarang melakukan kontak mata langsung. Para pengusaha dari Amerika Serikat (AS), Eropa dan Australia, (dan banyak dari negara lain) berharap dapat melakukan kontak mata langsung sebanyak 50%-60% dari total percakapan.
Salah satu cara sederhana untuk meningkatkan kontak mata adalah dengan memandang mata langsung teman bisnis Anda saat menyapanya.



5. Biarkan gerak tangan Anda ikut berbicara
Bukan hanya mulut yang harus aktif berbicara, tapi tangan juga harus memperkaya isi pembicaraan tersebut. Mengingat bahasa tubuh sangat mempengaruhi pendapat Anda, menggunakannya juga bisa mengembangkan cara berpikir Anda.
Berbicara sambil menggerakkan tangan Anda bisa meningkatkan kemampuan dan kelancaraan Anda saat bicara, perhatikan intonasi suara..kadang berbicara perlu loh dgn suara yg agak keras dgn penekanan" tertentu



6. Gunakan bahasa tubuh yang tenang
Gerakkan bagian tubuh Anda dengan tenang, bukalah tangan Anda hanya sekadar menandakan, Anda tak menyembunyikan apapun. Postur dengan tangan sedikit terbuka juga bisa menunjukkan kredibilitas diri Anda.


7. Jangan tunjukkan Anda terlihat gugup
Saat kita merasa gugup banyak gerakan tubuh yang dilakukan seperti mengetuk-ngetuk jari ke meja, menghentak-hentakan kali ke lantai, atau memainkan aksesoris Anda.
Jika Anda termasuk yang melakukannya, tarik nafas dan jangan gerakkan kaki Anda. Menahan diri untuk tak bergerak berlebihan, bisa menunjukkan bahwa Anda orang yang tenang dan percaya diri.


8. Senyum
Tersenyum bisa berdampak besar pada sikap Anda. Orang-orang cerdas lebih memilih menunjukkan senyum di wajahnya.Tersenyum tak hanya menstimulasi pola pikir Anda tapi juga menyebabkan Anda bisa dipercaya dan mudah didekati.
Saat Anda tersenyum pada orang lain, mereka seringkali membalasnya. Melakukannya saat bekerja bisa menimbulkan aura yang positif.


9. Berjabat tangan dengan baik
Sentuhan dengan orang lain lewat berjabat tangan dapat menandakan betapa kuatnya kemampuan Anda dalam bekerja. Cara berjabat tangan yang tepat bisa menunjukkan Anda adalah orang yang memiliki kredibilitas tinggi.

Kesan pertama pada diri Anda akan menentukan karir Anda ke depannya.

Memasak Nasi Goreng

Di restoran asia yang menyediakan nasi goreng, nasi goreng itu jadi kunci utama penilaian, kalau di resto itu ada nasi goreng dan nasi goreng nya enak, dijamin masakan lain pasti enak.


1.Nasi harus kering
Salah satu aturan baku untuk membuat nasi goreng enak adalah pemilihan nasi. Jangan gunakan nasi yang baru saja matang, karena memberi tekstur lembek. Yang terbaik adalah menggunakan nasi yang sudah dimasak sehari sebelumnya, karena bertekstur lebih kering dan mudah dimasak. Atau taruh nasi dalam kulkas selama beberapa jam agar teksturnya lebih kenyal. (bener banget nihh gan kata emak ane emang klo mau bikin nasi goreng enakan nasi yg udah Gere' atau kering)


2.Gunakan wajan lebar
Gunakan wajan yang lebar agar seluruh komposisi nasi goreng bisa teraduk sempurna. Karena banyak diaduk, wajan yang lebar ini juga bisa mencegah nasi goreng dan mencegah isinya berhamburan keluar saat sedang diaduk-aduk (klo ga punya pake bak aje gan, just kidding klo ga punya beli lahh atau engga minjem aja ke tetangga alesannya mau bikin nasi goreng "brutal" .)


3.Gunakan api besar
Salah satu faktor yang membuat nasi goreng buatan restoran terasa spesial adalah aromanya yang khas. Aroma ini dihasilkan dari suhu panas dari api. Suhu yang tinggi juga mencegah nasi menempel pada wajan dan membuat tekstur nasinya kering enak (api besar itu maksudnya yahh yg sewajarnya aje gan, jangan kebesaraan juga nanti bukannya ente bikin nasi goreng, malahan Ente yg Digoreng sama nasi )



4.Jangan terpaku pada resep
Untuk membuat nasi goreng enak, Anda tak harus selalu mengikuti aturan resep secara baku. Beragam bahan dan komposisi bisa dimasukkan dalam racikan nasi goreng. Misalnya punya ayam goreng sisa makan malam, sosis, hingga irisan wortel dan buncis. Saat hampir selesai dimasak, cicipi dulu agar bisa ditambahkan bumbu jika kurang, saat nasi goreng masih panas. 

Happy cooking !

Romantic Relationships

Dari SMP sampai sekarang, kalau sudah tentang cinta, rasanya kok gak pinter-pinter ya. Butuh nabrak berkali-kali dan patah hati berkali-kali dan belum tentu mendapatkan lesson learnednya. Melihat kebelakang, ini hal-hal yang gue pelajari sebagai #reminder ketika masuk ke relationship yang baru (atau yang sekarang) yang gue rasa membantu gue banget memiliki hubungan yang ‘sehat’.

Let me know what you think.

1. It’s never a good idea to change me to fit the other person.

Gue inget banget jaman-jaman gue berusaha banget menyukai musik maupun film yang dia sukai. Sampai kalau dipikir-pikir hal-hal yang gue sukai jaman tersebut adalah hal-hal yang dia sukai. Sampai akhirnya gue kehilangan identitas diri gue sendiri karena gue terlalu ingin untuk dia menyukai gue.

Ada temen gue cerita ketika baru putus dari pacaran 7 tahun, “Gue baru sadar bahwa gue membangun hidup gue mengelilingi dunianya, sampai gue berubah banget. Dan sekarang gue sampai tidak mengenali siapa diri gue lagi.”

We do that. Kita bisa kehilangan diri kita dalam sebuah relationship. Malah, sebaliknya, perkuat your passion sehingga kita pun bisa menginspire orang lain.

Gue belajar bahwa hubungan bukan menghitung banyaknya persamaan, tetapi sejauh mana kita bisa memperkaya satu sama lain dari perbedaan kita. Sehingga dalam perjalanannya kit memperkuat diri kita dengan kehadiran orang lain.

Tanyakan ke diri sendiri, “How have you become better because this other person?” dan sebaliknya “Bagaimana orang ini telah lebih baik karena ada gue?”

2. If you want it too much, it’s desperation. Then it becomes an addiction. Then it’s not healthy anymore.

Terkadang kita terlalu desperate. Melihat sekeliling kita sudah pada pacaran, menikah, punya anak, memberikan pressure juga ke diri kita sehingga kita bisa melakukan hal-hal yang mensabotase diri kita sendiri, seperti:
- Mencari di tempat-tempat yang salah
- Mau melakukan segalanya agar orang lain suka dengan kita
- Mau mengkompromise semuanya walau kita gak happy
- Mau menunggu bertahun-tahun (digantungin) walau sebenarnya dia gak suka-suka banget sama kita.

“I can’t live without you. I can’t love anyone else like I love you.” <— #lebay.
“I can live without you. But my life is a lot more colorful with you in it” <— #beautiful

Nothing healthy comes out of desperation. Karena apapun yang kita lakukan jadi memaksakan diri. Kita melakukannya karena rasa takut, bukan karena cinta.

3. We love the IDEA of the person, and not the person itself.
Bisa sih kalau mau menyalahkan fairy tales, tapi apa untungnya salah-salahan. Kita ingin pasangan yang ‘perfect’, the prince charming ataupun trophy wife — semua yang ‘kelihatannya’ keren, karena kalau mereka keren, kitapun akan terlihat keren kan?

Seperti apply untuk pekerjaan kan, di kertas (CV/Resume) kelihatannya keren banget, tetapi apakah itu yang paling cocok untuk kita?

Di CV/Resume itu tidak terlihat values atau karakternya. Kita menilai dari hal-hal yang kelihatan tetapi jadi melupakan what matters most seperti:
- Bagaimana dia memperlakukan orang lain selain saya?
- Apakah dia akan ada atau lari dari masalah?

Relationship bukan tentang siapa mereka dan apa yang mereka lakukan, tetapi apa yang kita rasakan ketika kita bersama dengan mereka.

4. Never expect people to CHANGE.

Gak ada yang perfect. Semua orang itu ada kekuatannya dan kelemahannya. Semoga semua kekuatannya bisa cukup untuk kamu menerima semua kelemahannya. Dan cinta itu tentang menerima seseorang seutuhnya, bukan sebagian. Bukankah kita seindiri juga ingin dicintai secara utuh?

Kalau kamu masih suka ngomong, “Yah, semoga suatu hari nanti dia berubah.” —> Lupakan. It’s not going to happen. Gak sehat untuk kamu maupun dia.

What you focus one expands. Karena terkadang kita lebih banyak fokus ke hal-hal yang negatif dan kurang fokus ke hal-hal yang positif sehingga gak pernah ada yang cukup.

Akhirnya kita terlalu banyak ekspektasi terhadap orang tersebut. Dia harus A, B, C ataupun “Kalau loe cinta sama gue elo harus melakukan A, B, C.” Kalau sudah mulai pakai kata ‘harus’ itu sudah gak sehat lagi

5. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out.

Terkadang, kita harus berpisah. And it’s okay. Kita gak perlu cocok dengan semua orang dan gak mungkin cocok dengan semua orang. Ini kan proses.

Relationship itu juga tentang mensinkronkan values, komitmen, gaya komunikasi dan juga sense of purpose. Jangan sampai yang kita lakukan itu karena terpaksa, gak enakan ataupun dipaksakan. If it doesn’t feel good, take notes.

Contoh, beberapa hal yang akhirnya gue tahu gue gak akan pernah bisa pacaran sama orang-orang yang punya kualitas sebagai berikut:
- kalo becanda merendahkan orang lain
- suka nyuruh-nyuruh gak penting karena gue yang perempuan (*toyor*)
- kalau ngomong sama waiter/asisten rumah tangga ketus
- kalau berantem selalu mencari siapa yang salah (dan selalu gue) dan bukan apa yang bisa dilakukan sekarang

Cukuplah bisa di blacklist

Untuk tahu apa hal-hal yang kita gak mungkin bisa toleransi di orang lain itu penting, karena it shows our values dan nilai-nilai yang penting di dalam hidup kita.

6. Relationship is about what you put in as much as what you take out.

Sering kali kita ditanya ingin pasangan/hubungan seperti apa? Lalu kita jawab kita ingin A, B, C dan listnya panjang sekali. Tetapi jarang kita ditanya, “Apa yang kamu bisa kontribusikan dalam sebuah hubungan?”

I love that question. Karena sekarang dalam setiap relationship (gak cuma yang romantis-romantis saja) gue mencoba bertanya ke diri gue:
- Sudahkah gue make quality time untuk orang ini?
- Apakah gue selalu mengapresiasinya atas diri maupun hal-hal yang dilakukannya (dan gak cuma kritik doang)?
- Sudahkah gue put my effort dalam relationship ini?
- Apakah gue memberikan humor dan juga kebahagiaan di sini?
- Apakah gue selalu menunjukkan respect ke orang ini?
- Apakah gue selalu mengatakan thank you dan juga maaf ketika melakukan kesalahan?
- Bisakah orang ini merasakan cinta gue? #eaaaah

Where you plant love, it grows. Don’t take things for granted.

7. It’s not going to work if you don’t love yourself first.

Sam: Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing?
Charlie: We accept the love we think we deserve.
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Kalau kamu belum bisa menerima dan mencintai dirimu apa adanya, selalu butuh approval dan perhatian, maka dengan siapapun kamu akan terus mengambil energi mereka. Dan cinta seperti apapun tidak akan pernah cukup karena selalu berasal dari luar dan bukan dari dalam diri.

Li Ka-Shing teaches you how to buy a car & house in 5 years

Hong Kong billionaire Li Ka-Shing shares some of his money wisdom, outlining an inspirational five-year plan to improve one’s lot in lifeSuppose your monthly income is only RMB 2,000, you can live well. I can help you put money into five sets of funds. The first $600, second $400, third $300, fourth $200, fifth $500.

The first set of funds is used for living expenses. It’s a simple way of living and you can only be assigned to less than twenty dollars a day. A daily breakfast of vermicelli, an egg and a cup of milk. For lunch just have a simple set lunch, a snack and a fruit. For dinner go to your kitchen and cook your own meals that consist of two vegetables dishes and a glass of milk before bedtime. For one month the food cost is probably $500-$600. When you are young, the body will not have too many problems for a few years with this way of living.

Second set of funds: To make friends, expand your interpersonal circle. This will make you well off. Your phone bills can be budgeted at RMB 100. You can buy your friends 2 lunches a month, each at $150. Who should you buy lunch for? Always remember to buy lunch for people who are more knowledgeable than you, richer than you or people who have helped you in your career. Make sure you do that every month. After one year, your circle of friends should have generated tremendous value for you. Your reputation, influence, added value will be clearly recognized. You’ll also enhance your image of being good and generous.

Third set of funds: To learn. Monthly spend about RMB 50 to RMB 100 to buy books. Because you don’t have a lot of money, you should pay attention to learning. When you buy the books, read them carefully and learn the lessons and strategies that is being taught in the book. Each book, after reading them, put them into your own language to tell the stories. Sharing with others can improve your credibility and enhance the affinity. Also save up $200 per month to attend a training course. When you have higher income or additional savings, try to participate in more advanced training. When you participate in good training, not only do you learn good knowledge, you also get to meet like-minded friends who are not easy to come by.

Fourth set of funds: Use it for holidays overseas. Reward yourself by traveling at least once a year. Continue to grow from the experience of life. Stay in youth hostels to save cost. In a few years you would have travelled to many countries and have different experiences. Use that experience to recharge yourself so that you’ll continually have passion in your work.

Fifth set of funds: Invest. Save the $500 in your bank and grow it as your initial startup capital. The capital can then be used to do a small business. Small business is safe. Go to wholesalers and look for products to sell. Even if you lose money, you will not lose too much money. However, when you start earning money, it will boost your confidence and courage and have a whole new learning experience of running a small business. Earn more and you can then begin to buy long-term investment plans and get long-term security on your financial wealth being of yourself and your families. So that no matter what happens, there will be adequate funds and the quality of life will not decline.

Well, after struggling for a year and if your second year salary is still RMB 2,000, then that means you have not grown as a person. You should be really ashamed of yourself. Do yourself a favour and go to the supermarket and buy the hardest tofu. Take it and smash it on your head because you deserve that.

If your monthly income is at RMB 3,000, you must still work very hard. You must try to find a part time job. It will be great to find part time sales jobs. Doing sales is challenging, but it is the fastest way for you to acquire the art of selling and this is a very deep skill that you will be able to carry it for the rest of your career. All successful entrepreneurs are good sales people. They have the ability to sell their dream and visions. You’ll also meet many people that will be of value to you in the later part of your career. Once you’re in sales, you will also learn what sells and what not. Use the sensitivity of detecting market sentiments as a platform for running your business and in the identification of product winners in the future.

Try to buy minimal clothes and shoes. You can buy them all you want when you’re rich. Save your money and buy some gift for your loved ones and tell them your plans and your financial goals. Tell them why you are so thrifty. Tell them your efforts, direction and your dreams.

Businessmen everywhere need help. Offer yourself to do part time for any kind of opportunities. This will help to hone your will and improve your skills. You will start to develop eloquence and soon, you’ll be closer to your financial goals. By the second year, your income should be increased to at least RMB 5,000. Minimum it should be RMB 3,000, otherwise you would not be able to keep up with inflation.

No matter how much you earn, always remember to divide it into five parts proportionately. Always make yourself useful. Increase your investment in networking. When you increase your social investment, expand your network of contacts, your income also grows proportionately. Increase your investment in learning, strengthen your self confidence, increase investment in holidays, expand your horizons and increase investment in the future, and that will ultimately increase your income.

Maintain this balance and gradually you will begin to have a lot of surplus. This is a virtuous circle of life plans. Your body will start to get better and better as you get more nutrition and care. Friends will be aplenty and you will start to make more valuable connections at the same time. You will then have the conditions to participate in very high-end training and eventually you’ll be exposed to bigger projects, bigger opportunities. Soon, you will be able to gradually realize your various dreams, the need to buy your own house, car, and to prepare an adequate education fund for your child’s future.

Life can be designed. Career can be planned. Happiness can be prepared. You should start planning now. When you are poor, spend less time at home and more time outside. When you are rich, stay at home more and less outside. This is the art of living. When you are poor, spend money on others. When you’re rich, spend money on yourself. Many people are doing the opposite.

When you are poor, be good to others. Don’t be calculative. When you are rich, you must learn to let others be good to you. You have to learn to be good to yourself better. When you are poor, you have to throw yourself out in the open and let people make good use of you. When you are rich, you have to conserve yourself well and don’t let people easily make use of you. These are the intricate ways of life that many people don’t understand.

When you are poor, spend money so that people can see it. When you are rich, do not show off. Just silently spend the money on yourself. When you are poor, you must be generous. When you are rich, you must not be seen as a spendthrift. Your life would have come full circle and reach its basics. There will be tranquility at this stage.

There is nothing wrong with being young. You do not need to be afraid of being poor. You need to know how to invest in yourself and increase your wisdom and stature. You need to know what is important in life and what is worth investing in. You also need to know what you should avoid and not spend your money on. This is the essence of discipline. Try to avoid spending money on clothing, but buy a selective number of items that have class. Try to eat less outside. If you were to eat outside, do make sure you buy lunches or dinners and foot the bill. When buying people dinner, make sure you buy dinners for people who have bigger dreams than you, and work harder than you.

Once your livelihood is no longer an issue, use the remainder of your money to pursue your dreams. Spread your wings and dare to dream! Make sure you live an extraordinary life!

Famous theory from Harvard: The difference of a person’s fate is decided from what a person spends in his free time between 20:00 to 22:00 . Use these two hours to learn, think and participate in meaningful lectures or discussion. If you persist for several years, success will come knocking on your doors.

No matter how much you earn, remember to split your salary into five parts. Take care of your body so that it will still be in good shape. Invest in your social circle so that you will constantly meet new people where you can learn new knowledge from. Expanding your network will also have an important impact in how much you earn eventually. Travel every year and expand your horizons. Also keep abreast with the latest developments in the industry. If you follow this plan diligently, you will soon see big surplus in your funds.

Whatever happened in the past is over. Do not dwell on past mistakes. There’s no point crying over spilt milk. Everybody makes mistakes. It’s what you learn from the mistakes, and promising yourself not to repeat those mistakes that matters. When you miss opportunities, don’t dwell on it, as there are always new opportunities on the horizon.

Being able to smile when being slightly misunderstood is good upbringing. When you’re wronged and you smile with calmness, it is generosity. When you’re being taken advantage of and you can smile, you’re being open-minded. When you are helpless and you can do a philosophical smile, you’re in a calm state. When you’re in distress and you can laugh out loud, you’re being generous. When you’re looked down and you can calmly smile, you’re being confident. When you’re being jilted in relationships and you can smile it off, you’re being suave.

There are many people who are struggling to make ends meet. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor. There are lessons for all to learn from Li Ka Shing.

Leader Quotes

 
 1. Ir. Soekarno - Presiden Pertama RI
Dalam sebuah revolusi, bapak makan anak itu adalah hal yang lumrah.
 
2. Soeharto - Presiden Kedua RI
Siapa saja yang mencoba melawan, akan saya gebuki.
 
3. Abdurrahman Wahid (Gus Dur) - Negarawan, Ulama, Presiden ke-4 RI
Tergantung pemerintah. Kalau pemerintah campur tangan terus dalam segala hal yang terjadi, adalah kami tidak ada jalan lain adalah membisikkan pada para pemilih golput aja bareng-bareng.
 
4. Megawati Soekarnoputri - Presiden ke-5 RI
Nabi saja seorang pemimpin, tapi nggak sarjana kok.

5. Mark Twain - Penulis
Saya tidak suka dengan perkelahian. Bila saya memiliki musuh, saya akan memaafkannya, mengajaknya ke tempat yang tenang, baru menghabisinya di sana.
 
6. Ann Landers - Kolumnis
Satu dari empat orang di dunia ini mengalami gangguan jiwa. Bila tiga orang yang Anda kenal baik-baik saja, berarti Andalah yang mengalaminya.
 
7. Zsa Zsa Gabor - Aktris
Saya adalah penjaga rumah yang hebat. Setiap kali saya meninggalkan seorang pria, saya selalu berhasil memiliki rumahnya.
 
8. Henry Ford - Pendiri Ford Motor
Berpikir adalah pekerjaan terberat, karena itulah sedikit sekali orang yang mau menggunakan otaknya.
 
9. Alexander Dumas the Younger - Pebisnis
Bisnis? Caranya mudah sekali: gunakan saja uang orang lain.
 
10. Angie Dickinson - Aktris
Saya berbusana agar dilihat wanita, dan menanggalkan busana agar dilihat pria.
 
11. Albert Einstein - Fisikawan
Memahami pajak adalah hal yang paling sulit dimengerti di dunia ini.

12. Samuel Goldwyn - Produser Film
Saya tidak mau dikelilingi orang yang bermental ‘yes-man’. Saya ingin orang yang mengatakan kebenaran meskipun setelah itu saya akan memecatnya. Kita membayar gajinya terlalu besar, sialnya lagi dia pantas menerimanya.
 
13. Roberto Goizueta - Pemimpin Coca Cola
Musuh-musuh kita adalah kopi, susu, teh dan air putih.
 
14. John Paul Getty - Miliarder
Bila Anda berhutang 100 Dollar, andalah yang pusing. Tapi bila Anda berhutang 100 juta Dollar, bank yang akan pusing.
 
15. Herbert Hoover - Presiden AS ke -31
Berbahagialah generasi muda, karena merekalah yang akan mewarisi hutang bangsa.
 
16. AnatoleFrance - Penulis
Buku sejarah yang tidak mengandung kebohongan pastilah sangat membosankan.
 
17. Woody Allen - Sutradara Film
Ternyata bertemu penjual asuransi jiwa adalah lebih buruk daripada kematian itu sendiri.
18. T.S. Eliot - Penulis

Penulis yang masih muda, meniru. Penulis yang sudah berpengalaman, mencuri ide.
19. Agatha Christie - Novelis Misteri
Kolektor barang antik adalah suami yang paling baik, karena semakin tua istrinya, semakin ia mencintainya.
 
20. Alfred Hitchcock - Sutradara Film Misteri
Saya tidak pernah bilang bahwa para aktor adalah sapi. Saya hanya bilang mereka harus diperlakukan seperti sapi.
 
21. Alan King - Komedian
Bila engkau ingin membaca tentang cinta dan perkimpoian, maka engkau harus membaca dua buku yang berbeda.
 
22. AnatoleFrance - Novelis
Jangan pernah meminjamkan buku karena tidak akan pernah dikembalikan. Buku-buku di perpustakaan saya semuanya adalah hasil pinjaman.
 
23. Voltaire - Filsuf
Apabila kita bicara soal uang, maka semua orang sama agamanya.
 
24. D.H. Lawrence - Penyair
Hasil dari kerja adalah uang. Hasil dari uang adalah lebih banyak uang. Hasil dari lebih banyak uang adalah kompetisi yang ganas. Hasil dari kompetisi yang ganas adalah dunia yang kita diami ini.
 
25. Lyndon B. Johnson - Presiden AS ke-36
Apabila dua orang selalu sepakat dalam segala hal, itu berarti cuma satu orang yang berpikir.
 
26. Robert Neville - Aktor
Hidup bersama orang suci ternyata jauh lebih melelahkan daripada menjadi orang suci itu sendiri.
 
27. Charles de Gaulle - Presiden Perancis Pertama
Politisi tidak pernah percaya akan ucapan mereka sendiri, karena itulah mereka sangat terkejut bila rakyat mempercayainya.
 
28. Thomas Alva Edison - Penemu
Banyak orang yang percaya bahwa suatu hari kala mereka bangun dari tidur, mereka sudah menjadi kaya. Sesungguhnya mereka sudah separuh benar karena mereka memang telah bangun dari tidur.
 
29. James Baldwin - Penulis, Aktor
Semua orang memuji-muji surga, tapi tidak ada yang mau pergi ke sana sekarang juga.
 
30. Don Marquis - Kolumnis
Orang yang munafik adalah orang yang...“hey, siapa sih yang tidak munafik”.
 
31. Benjamin Franklin - Negarawan
Orang yang pandai meminta-minta maaf, jarang sekali pandai melakukan hal-hal lain.
 
32. Joseph Stalin - Pemimpin Politik
Kematian satu orang adalah tragedi, kematian jutaan orang adalah statistik.
 
33. Will Rogers - Pelawak Politik
Politik itu mahal, bahkan untuk kalahpun kita harus mengeluarkan banyak uang.
 
34. Adolf Hitler - Pemimpin Nazi
Alangkah beruntungnya penguasa bila rakyatnya tidak bisa berpikir. Aku tidak perlu berpikir karena aku adalah pegawai pemerintah.
 
35. Clement Attlee - Perdana Menteri Inggris
Demokrasi adalah pemerintahan yang diisi dengan banyak diskusi, namun demokrasi hanya efektif bila engkau mampu membuat orang lain tutup mulut.

Kata - Kata Ajaib untuk Kehebatan Marketing Bisnis Anda

Buat kalian yang suka atau sedang menjalani profesi dibidang periklanan, sales marketing dan lain sebagainya. Sepertinya ini saatnya kalian tahu tentang 30 kata marketing ajaib yang harus Anda terapkan pada posting social media, artikel, email penawaran, konten website, dan sebagainya:

1. Anda
Menulislah seolah – olah Anda sedang ngobrol dengan teman Anda, jangan membayangkan diri Anda yang berasumsi sendiri.

2. Karena
Beri pelanggan Anda alasan untuk segera melakukan “action”. Perhatikan juga sasaran pelanggan (target market) Anda, karena alasan untuk target market yang tidak tepat justru akan membuat Anda dianggap bodoh.

3. Gratis
Karena semua orang menginginkan hal yang berbau gratis. Coba tanyakan kepada 10 teman Anda maka semua pasti akan memilih sesuatu yang gratis daripada yang berbayar.

4. Nilai
Buat seolah – olah pelanggan mendapatkan sesuatu, bukan kehilangan sesuatu. Contohnya jangan menggunakan kata “uang”, melainkan “biaya” atau “harga”, karena jika Anda mengatakan “uang”, maka pelanggan akan terkesan kehilangan uang mereka. Tetapi gunakan kata “biaya”, maka mereka akan terkesan mendapatkan sesuatu kemudian memberikan gantinya.

5. Garansi
Berikan garansi kepada calon pelanggan Anda, sehingga mereka akan merasa aman terhadap kemungkinan resiko yang akan dihadapi. Garansi tidak harus muluk – muluk, yang simple dan mudah pun tidak menjadi masalah, asalkan dikemas dengan kata-kata yang bagus. Yang terpenting adalah Anda harus “sanggup” memenuhi garansi tersebut. Garansi ini sebagai ikatan Antara Anda dan calon pelanggan Anda.

6. Luar biasa
Seperti halnya GRATIS, orang cenderung senang dan cepat tanggap dengansesuatu yang luar biasa.

7. Mudah
Buatlah langkah yang semudah mungkin untuk calon pelanggan Anda menjadi pelanggan Anda. Bahkan kalau perlu hanya satu langkah mudah agar bisa menikmati kemudahan layanan Anda.

8. Temukan
Ciptakan hal baru dan buat pelanggan Anda penasaran dan ingin mencoba hal tersebut. Dalam hal ini yang perlu diperhatikan adalah cara menyampaikan hal baru tersebut kepada calon pelanggan Anda dan buat mereka penasaran untuk menemukan hal baru tersebut.

9. Sekarang
Buat motivasi agar pelanggan Anda melakukan keputusan atau tindakan saat itu juga.

10. Include
Sampaikan kepada pelanggan Anda bahwa semua kebutuhan pentingnya sudah termasuk dalam produk/layanan Anda.

11. Tidak lagi
Tunjukkan kepada pelanggan Anda tentang keuntungan negative. Bagaimana bisa keuntungan negatif itu ada? Bisa saja, misalnya : “Anda tidak akan lagi membayar….” dan “Anda tidak perlu khawatir lagi tentang …..”.

12. Terbaru
Sampaikan kepada calon pelanggan Anda bahwa produk/layanan Anda adalah yang terbaru dibidangnya, atau menggunakan teknologi terbaru, atau yang pertama kali di dunia/di Indonesia/Jawa Timur.

13. Hemat
Setiap orang ingin menekan pengeluarannya, atau dengan kata lain berhemat sebanyak mungkin. Jadi tekankan kepada calon pelanggan Anda bahwa dengan membeli produk/layananAnda, maka mereka akan menghemat sekian rupiah.

14. Terbukti
Tujukkan sebuah riset atau testimonial dari kerabat Anda yang membuktikan bahwa produk/layanan Anda sudah terbukti kualitasnya.

15. Aman dan efektif
Kata-kata ini untuk meminimalisir persepsi negative tentang resiko dan kerugian.

16. Tepat guna
Beritahu calon pelanggan Anda bahwa produk atau layanan Anda benar-benar tepat guna bagi mereka.

17. Nyata
Hampir sama dengan TERBUKTI, bahwa calon pelanggan Anda membutuhkan sesuatu yang nyata sebagai pendorong untuk memutuskan membeli produk/layanan Anda.

18. Rahasia
Tidak semua orang bisa berhasil, dan pasti ada rahasia dibalik kesuksesan tersebut. Sampaikan rahasia produk/layanan Anda mengapa bisa menjadi solusi kepada calon pelanggan Anda tersebut. Karena hamper setiap orang senang jika diberitahu sebuah rahasia.

19. Solusi
Tunjukkan bahwa produk/layanan Anda benar-benar menjadi solusi untuk calon pelanggan Anda.

20. Instan
Tunjukkan kecepatan akses atau kesigapan pelayanan dari team Anda.

21. Bagaimana
Tunjukkan kepada calon pelanggan Anda bagaimana Anda menyelesaikan masalahnya.

22. Gengsi
Tunjukkan kepada calon pelanggan Anda bahwa dengan menggunakan produk/layanan Anda, mereka akan mendapatkan gengsi yang tinggi. Setiap orang di Indonesia senang akan gengsi.

23. Eksklusif
Tunjukkan bahwa produk/layanan Anda adalah istimewa jika dibandingkan dengan kompetitor Anda.

24. Disebabkan oleh
Analisa dengan cermat problem calon pelanggan Anda dan berikan alas an kenapa hal tersebut dapat terjadi. Hal ini akan membuat Andaterkesan “smart” dan otomatis calon pelanggan Anda pun akan lebih percaya dengan Anda.

25. Lebih
Apakah Anda memberikan lebih dari yang pesaing Anda tawarkan? Pastikan calon pelanggan Anda mengetahui kelebihan Anda tersebut.

26. Tawar – menawar
Berikan kesempatan bagi calon pelanggan Anda untuk melakukan penawaran, bisa berupa penawaran harga, fitur, atau garansi. Budaya masyarakat Indonesia adalah menyukai tawar – menawar, dan ingin memperoleh lebih. Jadi berikan itu kepada mereka.

27. Tidak ada kewajiban
Hal ini untuk memastikan kepada calon pelanggan Anda bahwa setelah menggunakan produk/layananAnda, mereka tidak ada beban atau tanggungan lagi.

28. 100% Garansi uang kembali
Semua orang menginginkan suatu kenyamanan dalam bertransaksi. Salah satunya yaitu jaminan uang kembali apabila terjadi hal yang tidak diinginkan pada barang yang dibelinya. Namun tetap ingat, hanya berikan garansi ini jika Anda yakin bahwa produk/layanan Anda benar – benar “powerfull”.

29. Besar
Buat diskon yang besar dan penawaran yang tinggi sehingga calon pelanggan Anda tidak sanggup lagi mengelak untuk tidak membeli produk/layanan Anda.

30. Kekayaan
Setiap orang ingin kaya, termasuk saya, Anda dan banyak lainnya. Jadi tunjukkan bahwa produk/layanan Anda bisa mendukung keinginan setiap orang tersebut.

Nah, sekarang tinggal bagaimana kita sebagai seorang pelaku marketing untuk mengkombinasikan kata-kata tersebut untuk mencuri hati calon pelanggan Anda agar membeli produk/layanan Anda. Lakukan sekarang dan tingkatan “conversion rate” penjualan Anda. Selamat mencoba ;-)

How I made sure all 12 of my kids could pay for college themselves

My wife and I had 12 children over the course of 15 1/2 years. Today, our oldest is 37 and our youngest is 22.  I have always had a very prosperous job and enough money to give my kids almost anything. But my wife and I decided not to. 

I will share with you the things that we did, but first let me tell you the results: All 12 of my children have college degrees (or are in school), and we as parents did not pay for it. Most have graduate degrees. Those who are married have wonderful spouses with the same ethics and college degrees, too. We have 18 grandchildren who are learning the same things that our kids learned—self respect, gratitude, and a desire to give back to society.

We raised our family in Utah, Florida, and California; my wife and I now live in Colorado. In March, we will have been married 40 years. I attribute the love between us as a part of our success with the children. They see a stable home life with a commitment that does not have compromises.

Here’s what we did right (we got plenty wrong, too, but that’s another list):

Chores

• Kids had to perform chores from age 3. A 3-year-old does not clean toilets very well but by the time he is 4, it’s a reasonably good job.
• They got allowances based on how they did the chores for the week.
• We had the children wash their own clothes by the time they turned 8. We assigned them a wash day.
• When they started reading, they had to make dinner by reading a recipe. They also had to learn to double a recipe.
• The boys and girls had to learn to sew.

Study time

Education was very important in our family.

• We had study time from 6 to 8pm every week day. No television, computer, games, or other activities until the two hours were up. If they had no homework, then they read books. For those too young to be in school, we had someone read books to them. After the two hours, they could do whatever they wanted as long as they were in by curfew.
• All the kids were required to take every Advanced Placement class there was. We did not let entrance scores be an impediment. We went to the school and demanded our kids be let in. Then we, as parents, spent the time to ensure they had the understanding to pass the class. After the first child, the school learned that we kept our promise that the kids could handle the AP classes.
• If children would come home and say that a teacher hated them or was not fair, our response was that you need to find a way to get along. You need find a way to learn the material because in real life, you may have a boss that does not like you. We would not enable children to “blame” the teacher for not learning, but place the responsibility for learning the material back on the child. Of course, we were alongside them for two hours of study a day, for them to ask for help anytime.

Picky eaters not allowed

• We all ate dinner and breakfast together. Breakfast was at 5:15am and then the children had to do chores before school. Dinner was at 5:30pm.
• More broadly, food was interesting. We wanted a balanced diet, but hated it when we were young and parents made us eat all our food. Sometimes we were full and just did not want to eat anymore. Our rule was to give the kids the food they hated most first (usually vegetables) and then they got the next type of food. They did not have to eat it and could leave the table. If later they complained they were hungry, we would get out that food they did not want to eat, warm it up in the microwave, and provide it to them. Again, they did not have to eat it. But they got no other food until the next meal unless they ate it.
• We did not have snacks between meals. We always had the four food groups (meat, dairy, grain, fruits and vegetables) and nearly always had dessert of some kind. To this day, our kids are not afraid to try different foods, and have no allergies to foods. They try all kinds of new foods and eat only until they are full. Not one of our kids is even a little bit heavy. They are thin, athletic, and very healthy. With 12 kids, you would think that at least one would have some food allergies or food special needs. (I am not a doctor.)

Extracurriculars

• All kids had to play some kind of sport. They got to choose, but choosing none was not an option. We started them in grade school. We did not care if it was swimming, football, baseball, fencing, tennis, etc. and did not care if they chose to change sports. But they had to play something.
• All kids had to be in some kind of club: Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, history, drama, etc.
• They were required to provide community service. We would volunteer within our community and at church. For Eagle Scout projects, we would have the entire family help. Once we collected old clothes and took them to Mexico and passed them out. The kids saw what life was like for many families and how their collections made them so happy and made a difference.

Independence

• When the kids turned 16, we bought each a car. The first one learned what that meant. As the tow truck pulled a once “new” car into the driveway, my oldest proclaimed: “Dad, it is a wreck!” I said, “Yes, but a 1965 Mustang fastback wreck. Here are the repair manuals. Tools are in the garage. I will pay for every part, but will not pay for LABOR.” Eleven months later, the car had a rebuilt engine, rebuilt transmission, newly upholstered interior, a new suspension system, and a new coat of paint. My daughter (yes, it was my daughter) had one of the hottest cars at high school. And her pride that she built it was beyond imaginable. (As a side note, none of my kids ever got a ticket for speeding, even though no car had less than 450 horsepower.)
• We as parents allowed kids to make mistakes. Five years before the 16th birthday and their “new” car gift, they had to help out with our family cars. Once I asked my son, Samuel, to change the oil and asked if he needed help or instruction. “No, Dad, I can do it.” An hour later, he came in and said, “Dad, does it take 18 quarts of oil to change the oil?”  I asked where did he put 18 quarts of oil when normally only five were needed. His response: “That big screw on top at the front of the engine.”  I said “You mean the radiator?” Well, he did not get into trouble for filling the radiator with oil. He had to drain it, we bought a radiator flush, put in new radiator fluid, and then he had to change the real oil. We did not ground him or give him any punishment for doing it “wrong.” We let the lesson be the teaching tool. Our children are not afraid to try something new.  They were trained that if they do something wrong they will not get punished. It often cost us more money, but we were raising kids, not saving money.
• The kids each got their own computer, but had to build it. I bought the processor, memory, power supply, case, keyboard, hard drive, motherboard, and mouse. They had to put it together and load the software on. This started when they were 12.
• We let the children make their own choices, but limited. For example, do you want to go to bed now or clean your room? Rarely, did we give directives that were one way, unless it dealt with living the agreed-upon family rules. This let the child feel that she had some control over life.

In it together

• We required the children to help each other. When a fifth grader is required to read 30 minutes a day, and a first grader is required to be read to 30 minutes a day, have one sit next to the other and read. Those in high school calculus tutored those in algebra or grade-school math.
• We assigned an older child to a younger child to teach them and help them accomplish their weekly chores.
• We let the children be a part of making the family rules. For example, the kids wanted the rule that no toys were allowed in the family room. The toys had to stay either in the bedroom or playroom. In addition to their chores, they had to all clean their bedroom every day (or just keep it clean in the first place). These were rules that the children wanted. We gave them a chance each month to amend or create new rules. Mom and Dad had veto power of course.
• We tried to be always consistent. If they had to study two hours every night, we did not make an exception to it. Curfew was 10pm during school nights and midnight on non-school nights. There were no exceptions to the rules.

Vacation policy

• We would take family vacations every summer for two or three weeks. We could afford a hotel, or cruise, but did not choose those options. We went camping and backpacking. If it rained, then we would figure out how to backpack in the rain and survive. We would set up a base camp at a site with five or six tents, and I would take all kids age 6 or older on a three- to five-day backpack trip. My wife would stay with the little ones. Remember, for 15 years, she was either pregnant or just had a baby. My kids and I hiked across the Grand Canyon, to the top of Mount Whitney, across the Continental Divide, across Yosemite.
• We would send kids via airplane to relatives in Europe or across the US for two or three weeks at a time. We started this when they were in kindergarten. It would take special treatment for the airlines to take a 5-year-old alone on the plane and required people on the other end to have special documentation. We only sent the kids if they wanted to go. However, with the younger ones seeing the older ones travel, they wanted to go. The kids learned from an early age that we, as parents, were always there for them, but would let them grow their own wings and fly.

Money and materialism

• Even though we have sufficient money, we have not helped the children buy homes, pay for education, pay for weddings (yes, we do not pay for weddings either). We have provided extensive information on how to do it or how to buy rental units and use equity to grow wealth. We do not “give” things to our children but we give them information and teach them “how” to do things. We have helped them with contacts in corporations, but they have to do the interviews and “earn” the jobs.
• We give birthday and Christmas presents to the kids. We would play Santa Claus but as they got older, and would ask about it, we would not lie.  We would say it is a game we play and it is fun. We did and do have lists for items that each child would like for presents. Then everyone can see what they want. With the internet, it is easy to send such lists around to the children and grandchildren. Still, homemade gifts are often the favorite of all.

The real world

• We loved the children regardless of what they did. But would not prevent consequences of any of their actions. We let them suffer consequences and would not try to mitigate the consequences because we saw them suffering. We would cry and be sad, but would not do anything to reduce the consequences of their actions.

We were and are not our kids’ best friends.  We were their parents.